Chipotle Asking Customers to Leave Guns at Home: Burrito chain Chipotle has issued a statement asking customers who aren’t law enforcement officers to leave their weapons at home after gun-rights activists affiliated with Open Carry Texas brought military-style assault rifles into a Dallas-area Chipotle, frightening customers. Well, they do serve “killer burritos.” One does have to be vigilant. But come on, guns in a burrito restaurant? One fart and somebody’s gonna end up dead.
Woman’s Cancer Killed By Massive Dose of Measles Vaccine: A woman has reportedly had her cancer completely eliminated by being given a massive dose of the measles vaccine - enough to inoculate 10 million people - in an unprecedented Mayo Clinic trial. In related news, 10 million new cases of measles have just been reported.
Florida Lawmaker Claims Common Core Will Turn Kids Gay: A Florida Republican says that set of federal educational standards from the Obama administration, called Common Core, promote the “gay agenda” and could turn your children gay. Why that just ridiculous! If this program were really promoting the “gay agenda,” wouldn't it obviously be named something like “Fabulous Core” instead of “Common Core?”
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Pennsylvania Rabbit Breeder Suing Fracking Company: A Pennsylvania show rabbit breeder in Pennsylvania is suing a French gas exploration company for using low-flying helicopters supporting tracking operations she said terrorized her prized animals, causing many to die and leaving survivors unable to breed. The woman is reportedly in a “stew” over the rabbits. Friends describe her as hopping mad over the loss of her inventory. On a positive note, they do breed like rabbits.
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Company Making Prosthetics Hip and Stylish: For those in need of prosthetic limbs, a company named UNYQ is now allowing customers to design their own prosthetic in stylish models, all with unique appearances and contours. Now that’s really going out on a limb. If those prosthetics don’t work properly, this company won’t have a leg to stand on.
World’s Biggest Dinosaur Discovered in Argentina: Paleontologists in Argentina say they recently discovered fossils belonging to the largest dinosaur ever found, which is believed to have stood 65-feet-tall, was more than 130-feet-long, and weighed 77 tons. Its a wonder they all died out. You’d think anything that big would have qualified for a “too big to fail” classification.
Hooters Claims Hackers Posted Offensive Facebook Jokes: Hooters is claiming that hackers are responsible for some recent offensive jokes posted to their Facebook page. Guess that's what can happen when you use "Boobs" as your password.
New Study Links Gum Disease and Heart Disease: A new study presented at the annual meeting of the American Society for Microbiology has found a definitive link between heart disease and gum disease. Frankly, I’m not all worried - I don’t chew that much gum anyway.