NBC Reporter Gets Stuck in Mudslide: NBC’s Miguel Almaguer had to be rescued by firemen after he waded into the muck live on NBC Nightly News to demonstrate the depth of a mudslide caused by the massive storms hitting the Los Angeles area. Was that a mudslide? I just assumed Al Roker's lap band had snapped again.
Drug Suspect Tells Florida Police He Thought Cocaine Was Legal: A Key West man who was busted while trying to stash his cocaine into a flower planter, told police officers that he shouldn't be arrested because he was under the impression that cocaine wasn't illegal in Florida. I think his defense is pretty obvious, the cocaine was “planted.”
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San Diego to Have Female Police Chief: Acting mayor Kevin Faulconer is set to name Asst. Police Chief Shelly Zimmerman as San Diego’s fist female police chief. All I can say is, may the gods have mercy on anyone who happens to leave a toilet seat up in San Diego.
Swiss Business School Professor Accidentally Shows Amputee Porn: A Swiss business school teacher has lost his job after he forgot to turn his overhead projector off while he he searched the internet for pornographic pictures of women with amputated limbs. I suppose you could make the argument that he was just promoting employment for women with disabilities. School officials say they were considering giving him just a slap on the wrist, but quickly realized that probably wasn’t such a good idea. Confused students admitted that they were stumped by the videos.
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Sandra Bullock's Gravity Paycheck Will Be At Least $70 Million: According to The Hollywood Reporter, Oscar nominee Sandra Bullock will earn at least $70 million for her appearance in Alfonso Cuarón's space epic Gravity. No wonder she’s been telling everyone “I need my space.”
Florida Woman Calls 911 for Sex: An inebriated 58-year-old widow from a sleepy section of Florida's West Coast has been arrested after calling 911 twice in a vain attempt to entice a cop have sex with her, telling the dispatched officer "I am so horny” and "I haven't been penetrated in years.” If it was sex she was after, she should have called a firefighter instead of a cop, everyone knows they have a much bigger hose.
Study Finds Young People Not Interested in Cars: A recent study by Gartner research revealed that 46% of all 18-to-24-year-old drivers in the United States would choose access to the Internet over access to a car. That’s because you don’t really need a car to get to a porn site.