Just Because You Have Kids Doesn't Make You Better Than Me

If you have children, raise your hand. If you don't have children, raise your hand. Now that that has been settled, raise your hand if someone put a gun to your head and forced you to have children. (The hands raised are probably slim to none.)

So now I bet you want to know why I asked those questions. I asked because I am tired of people acting like those of us persons who are child-free did something to those of you who are not. I am tired of people with children acting as if those of us without children don't want them, don't have struggles, or don't have problems. The list could go on but I'll stop right there because you get the point.

The other day I was checking out of an appointment, when the lady says, "Kia, you're single with no children right?" Of course, I'm wondering where this is going. I reply, "Yes." She said, "Well, I would rather be single and struggle then have children." Really?! She says, yes, because children can do all sorts of stuff and make you crazy, they want this and that ..." I end by saying okay, I'll think on it and leave the establishment. I've thought on it and now you all get to read my thoughts. 

First of all, who told you to have these children? There are ways to prevent children and I am not referring to abortions. Next, children is plural so after you had the first one why did you continue making more? If you don't know then I don't know either. But don't come talking to me like my struggles are not valid because I don't have children!

Uh, one of the reasons I am child-free right now is because I am struggling to stay afloat in this bad economy. Another reason is because I have not found a compatible partner to have children with. Excuse me for being old fashion but I would like to be married before I have kids. Hopefully, when I elect to have a child or children I will be married but if not I have considered other methods such as in-vitro, adoption, etc. 

The point I am making is don't be mad at me because your children are an addition to your struggles because you made the decision to have them. Heck, I thought children did make you crazy because my brother and I were pretty good kids ( I could be biased) but my mom was always muttering," I don't know why people have kids." After which, I would fall out giggling because it was so humorous to me. My brother and I are nine years apart.

I understand children give you headaches but they give you joy as well. I don't have any kids of my own (for reasons already stated ) but I love getting to spend time my 2-going-on-20-year-old nephew. He drives me crazy with his nonstop chatter and constant yelling of, "Auntie! Auntie!" but when he leaves, my apartment is eerily quiet, and I miss him. 

At the end of the day, I want people to realize that we choose the lives we live (I know what you're thinking and I am not saying you chose to be broke, or raped, or stuff like that, so please don't go there). What I am saying is that my struggles may not be your struggles but it's a struggle all the same. One isn't better or more worthy than the other. If I'm child-free and you're not, we both have responsibilities. They are just different responsibilities so get off my back!