Shopping carts! Gotta love 'em!

To be fair, it's not the fault of the cart!  It's usually the pusher not the pushee, but most supermarket shopping carts are possessed.  Their wheels will lull you into a false state of security as you march briskly into the store armed with shopping list and assorted bags.   The first indication that something's rotten in the state of Denmark (sorry, Hamlet) is when you try to make your first turn.  4 out of 5 carts will stubbornly refuse to execute this simple maneuver resulting in either a hernia for you, or a severe traffic problem on aisle 3.  Firm pushing and a quick kick at the offending wheel will probably get you to the next turn, but by the time you have had to repeat this procedure several times on each aisle your day is shot.  
Another solution is to precede the cart and pull it along.  You tend to look fairly stupid but the shopping day is far from over.   Beware of inexperienced shoppers with laden carts behind you.  The design of these carts is such that the front wheels seem to be positioned in such a way as to run into the shopper in front.  My heels are scarred from such incidents, and I have been barred from the odd market for using offensive language.  Well, really!  My one and only pair of designer shoes are in intensive care after a run in (or should I say  run over) with a particularly vicious cart that was being handled by a harassed shopper on a tight time schedule.   
Then, shudder, there is the cart with a peculiar sense of humor.  It is usually well mannered until it reaches on coming cart traffic when it will lurch to one side and get its wheels tangled with the other cart.  Warning!  Do not attempt to separate the carts with brute force as the locked wheels will separate when you least expect it, propelling cart and you into a well stacked shelf of noisy cans, or heaven forbid, containers of something wet and sticky.   "Clean up on aisle 6"  tells me that the carts have been at it again! 
I have a friend that for a short time had to use the bete noire of all cart users - the electric shopping cart.  This 'thing' had 3 speeds.  A mind numbing slow speed, ( when the produce can't make it to the cashier before its expiration date - it's slow!) a reverse speed that should have qualified for the Indy 500, and a dead stop.  My poor friend was last seen exceeding the speed limit on aisle 7, in reverse, while mouthing the words, "help meeeee".
She is currently in therapy.
On my last shopping excursion, I saw a shopper who had obviously tried to park her cart in the space provided, but after having wrestled with it throughout the store, had tried to teach it a lesson.  She manhandled (should that not be womanhandled?)  the cart into the parking lot, and wedged it firmly between two trees instead.  As she turned her back to hobble back to her car (obviously another case of heel trauma) the cart dislodged itself, and slowly rolled backwards scraping the side of her car in the process.  An accident?  I don't think so!  It was a case of pure spite on the part of the cart.  I have tried to ignore carts, and shop using the small plastic baskets, but as my arms are now resembling those of a female orangutan, this is no solution.  I am resigned.  I lurk in the parking lot examining the progress of carts as they come out of the store, and try to get a reasonably well trained cart.   I speak sweetly to it, gird my loins and hope that just once, I have found a cart with 4 functioning wheels, and one without an attitude.  Dream on!