Matter of Taste: Burgers

Ah, the hamburger. Praised in song and by ketchup-makers across the globe. Some unverified accounts place the origin of the hamburger somewhere in the 15th century, long before cows received hormones to make the bigger, better burger and also well before people lived through boats with tainted meat.

Fortunately for us all, progress has marched forward to the point where we don’t have to worry about food safety. All we need to do is focus on finding the perfect burger. Before we set you free on the beaches, armed only with this article and an appetite for cow flesh, consider these morsels of information:

1. Many people – this writer included – will not eat at a place that will not cook burgers below medium or medium well, believing that the reasoning for that policy is the quality of meat the restaurant purchases.

2. In this article, “burgers” means red meat or a mixture of red meat and perhaps pork. If you want to know where to get a salmon, turkey, tuna or chicken burger, well, you’ll just have to wait for that article another week.

Armed with that information, here’s what you need to know about burgers on the beach.

If you want a burger...

*With sweet potato fries
…Eat like Papa would have at Sloppy Joe’s on Treasure Island. An offshoot of the Key West Sloppy Joe’s, this restaurant dishes up plenty of its namesake. But if you’re more of a burger person and you want a choice of sides that isn’t limited to “seasoned or regular,” come here. Side choices also include homemade tortilla chips, yellow rice and black beans, slaw, salad or chips. Oh, and regular fries, if that’s really what you want.

*On the sand
….Make a beeline for Sandbar Bill’s on St. Pete Beach. Don’t see it? That’s because there’s no sign and the building’s behind a the BonAire Resort. If you’re not staying at the or a local doesn’t clue you in, you won’t know to look for it. Sandbar Bill’s hand-pats the Iowa beef daily and, judging by the crowd clamoring for a seat, they go through several cows a day. They have a full bar, but expect your beer in a can and your drink in plastic – that way nothing breaks and gets in the sand. Watch where you park, and if you’re using the hotel lot it wouldn’t hurt to check with the front desk.


*And a glass of wine
….Have them both at Jimmy’s Fish House and Iguana Bar on Clearwater beach. Whether it’s Cupcake Chardonnay or Echelon Pinot Noir, you can have a glass or a bottle with your Parrothead burger (yes, that is what it’s called.)

*With a full bar
...Sip away at while you eat a Scott’s burger, a half-pound traditional hamburger served in a setting best described as “beach elegant.” You may need reservations, depending on the time of year, day and day of the week.

*That gets the job done
...Order one at in Redington Shores. No frills on the burger or inside, but the burger will satisfy your craving. It comes with the traditional fixings and, according to local reviews, reliably so.