Teen Body Images Tip the Scale

Just a few days ago, my daughter’s friend told me that she wants to lose 12 pounds by the end of the summer. My jaw almost hit the floor.

She is a beautiful girl who has really come into her own in the past year. She’s 5-foot-8 with a petite frame and long, ash-blond hair. There is not an inch of extra skin on this girl, and I think she should put a few pounds on. What does she see when she looks in the mirror?

My daughter is 5-foot-3 with a more muscular build like her father. She is strong, toned and athletic. She’s not as petite as most of her friends, but she has a very healthy frame. She was active in gymnastics when she was younger and is an excellent soccer player. Her strength comes through in her plays.

She chose not to play this past season and she has gained about five pounds. This is nothing to be concerned about, but it’s something that has her suddenly very self-conscious. She wants to go to the gym with her friend to start working out regularly. Although I support her wanting to pick up healthy habits, I don’t want to enable her to take things too far.

The girls are your typical teenagers by today’s standards and have been friends since elementary school. They are obsessed with new clothes, apply heavier makeup than I care for and always look much more mature than their age. That seems to be true across the board. It seems that girls today put so much emphasis on their looks and less on their true talents. It also seems that many are never happy with the way they look.

I get it. I was a teenager, too, and was never fully satisfied with how I looked; most people aren’t. I admired the beautiful girls in my school who seemed to have it all: the perfect boyfriend, the perfect body, the best clothes, the constant admiration from their flock of friends. Everything just seemed to fall into place for them.  But, despite never feeling that I was of their caliber, I was always confident in my own skin for the most part. You are who you are.

Pop Culture Provides An Unbalanced Picture

Unfortunately, that’s not the case anymore. There seems to be a quick fix for everything – you just have to be willing to pay the price and go under a knife. And, unfortunately, it’s not limited to just adults. When the fashion industry and media are constantly pushing that stick skinny is in, it’s no wonder these girls have body-image issues. I shudder at what is splashed all over magazines and television and the message being received.

My daughter is always making comments that she wants to be smaller like her friends. And it’s also known that she fully intends to get breast implants as soon as she is an adult. I wince at the thought of her mutilating her body unnecessarily, and I’ve made it clear that this will never happen on my dime or while she’s living under my roof. She is beautiful as designed. These teens seem to have a warped idea of what looks good.

I know that it does not help that I have a rather petite frame, but we are just two completely different body types. I also suffer from a chronic illness that makes gaining weight difficult, and I’ve stressed to her that I wish I could put on 10 pounds to be at a more healthy weight. My size is simply a consequence of my illness. 

When the makers of Dove beauty products revealed their campaign for “real” beauty, I applauded them. Teens and women of all shapes and sizes embrace their natural beauty from within, exuding a confidence that is nothing less than beautiful on the outside. These powerful ads have become a teaching moment in my household, and I hope that they reach these young girls and inspire them to stay true to themselves.    

Making Healthy Choices Starts At Home

I am an advocate for healthy living and teaching our children to do the same, but it’s about balance. Eating right, getting regular exercise and taking care of your mind, body, and soul are all lifestyle choices that should be taught to our kids at a young age. It’s not about achieving physical perfection. It’s about taking care of yourself so that you can live a long and healthy life.

I can’t control what the media continues to portray as beautiful. But I can continue to teach my daughter to value her natural beauty and make healthy choices, not obsessive choices. As parents, it’s our job to teach our kids the difference and intervene when necessary. 

All of our flaws and quarks are what make us who we are as individuals. True beauty is not about blending in; it’s about standing tall and loving who you are. There are no scales in my house.