Teaching Children to Deal with a Mistake

Written by Didiana De La Osa, M.S., BCaBA

Behavioral Consulting of Tampa Bay works with children with developmental disabilities, from beginning learners to advanced learners. Most of the clients we service show deficits in their social skills. We conduct social skills training in efforts to improve the quality of our clients' interactions with their peers and families and prevent possible bullying or isolation. It is important that we take each child's needs into consideration. One specific skill we can target is Dealing with a Mistake. Many children with autism have difficulties accepting that they have made a mistake (Coucouvanis, 2005). We must stress that we all make mistakes and errors should not stop us from trying new things.

Coucouvanis (2005) stated that it is important to break down Dealing with a Mistake to facilitate the child's understanding of the concept.

1. She proposed we ask the child to take a deep breath or use other calming down techniques if they respond incorrectly. Relaxation techniques may also be used beforehand if the child is engaging in escape or avoidance behavior.  If the escape or avoidance behavior makes the task impossible to complete, a gradual introduction of the task may be needed. One could begin by providing praise, toys, or other preferred items just for tolerating the activity and then progressively increasing the required effort to receive reinforcers.

2. Self prompts, such as repeating "I can try again, no big deal" were also presented as tools to assist the child in completing a difficult task. If the child engages in problem behavior or negative statements upon committing an error, have them repeat positive statements, such as "I can do better next time."

3. We can also teach children to ask for help when needed. Tell the child he or she may approach you to request assistance when needed. Ask them to state what they are doing and what they need help completing.

4. Another approach to dealing with a mistake is trying again using a different approach. Many times adding visual cues or trying easier alternatives may ensure success. For example, if a child is having trouble with subtraction problems, having a list of steps for borrowing may help them complete their assignments more readily.

5. If upon making a mistake a child engages in problem behavior and causes damage, such as property destruction, depending on the function of this behavior, we can ask the child to apologize for the damage caused and/or they can be asked to correct the disturbance in the surrounding area. Having them pick up any materials thrown or clean any messes made are some examples.  (We would need to be cautious of attending at all to this behavior if it was determined to be maintained by attention).

These skills can be acquired through the use of role plays or setting up situations so that a child will face a difficult problem and will be required to engage in these behaviors. For instance, if a child has difficulty starting or maintaining conversations with peers, role plays with siblings or family members may be helpful. Loved ones can model appropriate skills, such as maintaining eye contact, and reinforce any appropriate skills the child may engage in. In addition, asking the child to complete a difficult task, such as giving them two extra homework problems, may allow for opportunities for them to practice the previously mentioned procedures.   

Have you had success teaching your child or a student to deal appropriately with making a mistake?  Please let us know in the comments section below!

Coucouvanis, J. (2005). Super Skills a social skills group program for children with Asperger syndrome, high-functioning Autism and related disorders. Shawnee Mission, KS: Autism Asperger Publishing Co.