Being Single In A Couples World

By: Kenneth Stepp

Heavy topic. I doubt I can do it justice. Lord knows I have studied it, lamented over it, and lived it. If I could be called an expert at anything, this should be it. I guess I am not an expert in anything, because this one stumps me. Every single I have met that will admit their true feelings, wants to be part of a couple. Some work harder at that than they did keeping their last relationship alive. But, that’s another topic I leave alone because it’s in the past. Can’t change the past.

I write, and I publish for others. This morning, my writer, Lucy Connor, sent me an article and being single and alone. I suppose it sparked something in me, because here I am writing about it. She is a super strong, extrovert, with conversational powers galore. Yet, when she walked into a room full of people meeting at a local watering hole. They were coupled up. She walked in, grabbed some material on the event and left. Tail between her legs. I know her. This is not like her at all. The power of coupling vs the power of being single is tough. I wanted to mention this because she and I have similar personalities, and this happens to me a lot. Crazy.

Major Mistake:

I need to take a moment and send this out there. The desire to be a part of a couple can be so strong, that we make terrible mistakes. The worst one is getting in a hurry to be in a couple. Far worse than settling. Meet someone, sparks fly, and bang. We are soul mates and need to seal the deal. A ring, a ceremony, and a party later, you are in way too deep. One thing far worse than being alone at a couples party or event, is being with someone you know you shouldn’t be with. You are still lonely. But you are tied to someone by a state license. To unravel this, and you will, is expensive, hurtful, and embarrassing.

Being alone and lonely is nowhere near as painful as being someone’s other half and lonely. Sure, if you both like to go to the same places, you walk in as a couple. I see the upside there. But what if your real soul mate exists and is there. You will be completely overlooked. Thus altering your future forever. Probably setting a pattern in motion to make the same mistake over and over. Until you lose interest altogether. The deadest of ends really. This requires you believe is the soul mate phenomenon. I do, and have explained it in detail many times.

Other Voices:

Before you think I am talking about the voices in my head. I’m not. At least not right now. They may be listening. I am talking about other people voicing their opinions, talking about what they have been through, their hopes, and goals. Almost all of them would like to find “The one”. I am in that camp. Each day I feel I am that much more prepared to find her than the day before. Each day, a little more hopeful, a little more released to do so. May logic prevail.

Lastly. There are those that say they want to be alone. they have mastered that life, are happy with being in it, and will remain there. I salute them for being so strong. I can’t handle what that life brings personally. Because there will be no stability in a relationship. Everyone you are with is temporary. You go out, have a conversation, spend the night, and you can almost hear a shout down the hall as you part the next morning, “NEXT! I believe that would get old quick. I don’t want “Next”. I want “it all & always”.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, America Angel Works