Dating After Divorce “Being Perfect”

By: Kenneth Stepp 

Perfect….. No such thing. These are the words that come to mind when I hear it. Not so anymore. There is such a thing as being perfect. The perfection I speak of is perception. Being perceived as perfect. When speaking with a group, this is where I lose them for a moment. I have to unwrap it, then they get it. Or, some do. 

To explain. I will wax poetic. Stick with me. 

“Nothing you become will disappoint me; I have no preconception that I’d like to see you be or do. I have no desire to foresee you, only to discover you. You can’t disappoint me” – Mary Haskell 

To me, this explains how to be with your perfect partner. Don’t expect your family and friends to understand. Your mate isn’t perfect to anyone but you. And, your aren’t perfect to anyone but your mate. This is when unconditional love exists for one another. I have experienced this before. The longest was my wife. After 26 years together. She was still my dream girl. My arm piece. I was always so proud of her. I reminded her of her beauty often. When we met she had body image issues. I couldn’t understand why. I fell fast and hard. To me, she was perfect. Perfect to me of course. Next was my rebound relationship. Perfect for me again. Every single thing about her. She was my fantasy girl. 

Since love has been my main topic to write on for some time, I find myself engaging in many conversations with single’s about love and love lives in general. I believe people were created to love unconditionally. This, I believe is the only REAL love. The meaning has been diluted a lot. Most think themselves to be in and out of love many times. Unconditional love is not something we have one day and its gone the next. It is forever and unlimited. What most call love is something very different from the real thing. Sadly, I believe most no longer have the capability to really love at all. All think they do, most cannot. And this is where trouble begins. People are hurt and lying in the dust wondering what hit them. 

Limitless, without merit, without limits, love sees no faults, no weight, scars, etc. Love sees perfection. Show me two people like this that found one another and I will show you soul mates. Real ones. I pondered over the soul mate phenomenon for months. I am a studier. I have severe ADD, which generally brings two things to the table. A high IQ and the ability to hyper focus. I talk about this a lot. It’s awesome. If there is a subject I want to learn, I study it for several hours per day. The soul mate thing was in my cross-hairs. First, I searched scientific and scholarly studies. These are my tried and true backups. Nothing worth my time there. And I went through a ton of them. Then I studied the spiritual arena. This is where I discovered my now staunch belief. Why? Because I experienced it myself. Only once was it returned to me. I blew that one. Long story. Too long to go here. This is the love I want. I believe two things. She exists and I am capable. Or, at least I am becoming capable again. Healing, so to speak. 

“Follow your heart”. This tired old saying seems proper here. It’s risky. You will find pain along the way. You will feel foolish. Is it worth it? Only you can make that call. 

k@kstepp.com 
Founder, American Angel Works