Dating After Divorce "Forever" Possible?

By: Kenneth Stepp

Forever…. This is my favorite subject. It was my goal when I began this journey. I believe it still is. Maybe my perception has changed of what that looks like. I affectionately call mine, “My Forever”. Having thought I found her once. I believe like a battered and bruised warrior. I will live to fight another day. Will we find one another? I still believe. I just see things more realistically today.I have been told I compare others to the girl I thought was her. I hope that isn’t the case. But. The person that told me this is someone I respect. A fellow writer and visitor to the strange recesses of the mind like me.

When a person has a goal this important. Should it change? I have mixed feeling. Yet have surrendered to altering this myself. It turns out that our experiences change us. Then. We change where we are going and what we want when we get there. Yes. We change. So will our goals.

Friends are full of wonderful advice aren’t they? I must have the smartest friends on the planet. Every time I have any questions. They answer them for me. Many have never been in my situation. But have the answers anyway. Now that’s smart. I can only hope I am that sharp one day. Little hope of that. I see my lack of wisdom for what it is. Void of most answers to even the smallest of problems.

Starry eyed and stumbling we continue on course to finally look into the eyes of our last love. Do most of us want this? Yes. Do we all think it’s out there? Hardly. Many have already given up, or settled for a cheap version of something amazing. Lacking the amazing, of course.

Is it because we are impatient? Desperate? Feel unworthy? Maybe all this and more. We partner so quickly we have no idea who they are. Only what they told us and what we were allowed to know about them. I controlled narrative is not truth. It’s a painting of someone we do not know. The only way to keep this from happening is to spend time with them. Meet their friends and family. Some look even better. Many, not so much. But. You will know if you match up better. An honest picture is better than a painting if you want forever. If you want a one night stand. The painting works just fine. Heck, no need for real names. If that’s what you are looking for. You probably do not read my work anyway.

Fairy tales can come true. I still believe this with all my heart. It takes so many things happening at once though. Two hearts ready at the exact same time. This would be number one. So many other things matter little is this happens. It seldom does though. I remember when I found mine. Or thought I did. It was like the stars aligned just to put us together. As if the universe demanded we be together. We even talked about it, like two school kids. A part of me still believes that. Most of me knows better now. A matching set of hearts make all the difference. With this. Things are possible. All things. To settle for less is a mistake every time. To search for this, is the goal of a life time. A journey worth taking. Can you love a person unconditionally? Not a child. Someone else. I’ve said this before. I believe everyone thinks they can, but few can pull it off. Most become attached for a while. Then begin looking for faults, eventually an exit. Devastating for the other. I can attest to that. Since then. I have been on a self discovery tour. I want to know me. What I can offer, what I want my forever to be. And more than anything. What life will look like when we are together forever. Until I can answer these questions. I wait. Do you know yourself well enough to know what you can be to another? Like most of my subjects. I leave with more questions than answers…..

www.stepplife.com