Dating After Divorce "Just Once" Timing

By: Kenneth Stepp

For something that science can’t agree is real or not. Time sure has a foothold on all of our lives. Time, or the use of it, timing. In the dating arena, timing seems to have more control on outcomes than any other factor. Two people meet, date, and one announces, I love you. The other, might some day. Timing wins again. I do believe it is the enemy of all things with potential. And, timing wins more often than not.

The flow of life, they say, is controlled by time. That is of course. If time can ever be proven. Then timing is how we implement it into that flow. My timing hasn’t been great so far. Why? Because it involves two people every time. And no two people are in the same place at the same time. “I love you”...... To someone that loves them back, these are golden words. To someone that doesn’t, they could evoke very different feelings. Disbelief is the first one I can think of. Maybe even a flight reflex. You see. Two unique individuals are in different places at different times. That, is undeniable. Relationships seldom make it past this stage. To last, they must.

“If the timing's right and the gods are with you, something special happens” -

Rick Springfield

The gods being with you make little sense to me. But, magic can happen when timing is right. I’ve been there. It just doesn’t happen often. But, it can be the best when it does. We all search for this at some point. We feel and hope they feel.  When they don’t we are faced with choices. We can be patient and wait to see if they catch up with us. I’ve never seen this happen. But, it’s the logical choice to me. Emotions are not guided by logic often. We can give up. Probably the most common, and least logical. We can move on to another and hope for sparks. Are we still teens? Yet, it happens quite a bit.

Just once. Two words that sound like someone is begging. Or at least wishing really hard. Just once I wish they would love me back. I’ve only said it one time. Only wished it once. Maybe begged too. It happens. Emotional overload. It can be exhausting. It is at times, life defining.

Kicking the emotional baggage to the curb is what we would all like to accomplish. Imagine being able to turn it off as fast as the person that refused your love did. What a cleansing that would be. To “uncare”. Of course, that’s absurd. But it’s fun to imagine anyway.

I have a local tavern I call my office. A friend of mine just stopped by for lunch. We talked about politics, and relationships. She is in a stable marriage. Her wisdom on such things is still comforting. “You will”. This when I spoke of my journey and my quest to move beyond my baggage. Like I said. Comforting. And, she’s right. If you think you never will, you won’t. Stay positive. We all have baggage, we’ve all been damaged. It may not be the last time. So, buckle up and learn something each time. There’s that time word again.

“Timing is everything with relationships” - Rashida Jones

I guess that says it all. Relationships only exist if one or more of these three things exist. Perfect timing, massive patience, and great trust.

Trust. I’m guessing you didn’t see that one coming. No other trait is more important in a relationship, or a potential relationship. It is at the core of anything that involves beyond ourselves.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works