By: Kenneth Stepp
Next? It simply means you have done something and are going to the next thing to do. At least this is how it works inside my feeble mind. For something to be next, something has been completed, finished with, moved on from. For me, my marriage, rebound relationship, and my old career. These were huge in my life. They shape who I am now. They will play a role in who I will become as well. They will be a part of what defines me.
Imagine all the big events or people who affected you along the way. Can you see why you are the way you are today because of them? You should be able to. As a medically diagnosed workaholic, my old business affects me today. I start working at 2:00 am every morning, 7 days per week. That, without an alarm clock. My failed marriage is shaping who my next partner will be like. My rebound relationship has made me question and guard more before diving in headfirst. For me, next means complete love. Or maybe, surrendering to complete love. Can I do it? I hope so.
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“Needed”? Is that kind of love a need? I believe for me it is. I had a taste of it and want more. It’s full of risks, pain , and hurt. It can end abruptly. It will, like the three things I mention, alter who you become in your next. Still, I am compelled to continue. My next has a successful career and the last love of my life. I am aiming high. What are your sights set on? Is it a person? Have you given up and settled for less? I hope I never do that. I wish you wouldn’t either. Finding real love is what we were all wired to do. At least that’s what I believe. And I have spent hundred of hours on research.
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I once described how much I thought about a person in these words.
“From the time I wake up every morning, to the time I wake up again. That is how often I think of you” – Kenneth Stepp
It was true. I want that again. I want to love that deeply. To know I have that capacity makes me want to use in inside a relationship that is ongoing. I don’t have to imagine what that’s like. I’ve lived it and I know the core warmth it brings. It actually makes you want to be a better person. To make myself ready and the kind of man who can live this out. Real love is the most powerful, God like trait we can possess. Maybe it possess us. Jay Asher penned a poem. It captured my thoughts completely.
“If my love were an ocean,there would be no more land.If my love were a desert,you would see only sand.If my love were a starlate at night, only light.And if my love could grow wings,I’d be soaring in flight”––Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
