Dating After Divorce “What Women Want”

By: Kenneth Stepp

We all want something. Some are more honest than others about it. I belong to an awesome group of singles on Facebook. I posted the question. What are you looking for? The results were interesting. Some expected, some not. The ones I expected were as follows. Honesty, faithfulness, integrity, great smelling, great smile, great hygiene, & good teeth. Unexpected was the eyes. Unexpected because that is a huge priority for me. I can stare into a loving set of eyes forever.It’s how I will know.

My list hasn’t changed. It’s grown (we all have a list). Mine is smart, strong, independent, , open-minded, and have the capacity to love unconditionally. Looks and body type are there I suppose. But way down the list. I am in fact a very big man. So, I’d rather they weren’t super fragile. I would hate to always be worried about damaging her.

Have you ever imagined what life will be like with your partner? If they fulfill your list, is there byproducts you won’t like? That happens you know. You like that they are financially secure. Yet dislike when they are too frugal. You like that they enjoy being alone. Yet dislike when they would rather stay in than go out. By now you understand my point. Every developed trait has another trait attached. We only see what we want to see at first. Time brings the rest into view.

As a man, I will always come up short somewhere. I’m imperfect and have an aggressive personality that likes to risk. I love the edge, the almost gone life. Out of the box and open minded. I am not for everyone. No one is. Yet I see people try to be as generic as they can to broaden their chances. Why bother? Who you really are will show up eventually. Fall for me because you love me. Not who I seem to be. Ladies. Follow suit. Be you. I’ve met many. All had their own brand of awesome all to themselves.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being yourself is freeing. Letting people see you for you is the most amazing freedom yet. No pretense, no fakery, no trying to remember. Just relaxing as you. Being accepted as yourself. Acceptance is to me, the greatest feeling there is. I don’t believe one can speak of what they want without acknowledging being accepted for who we are is at the core of it.

Writing gives me the freedom to start discussions about anything I want. As my audience grows, the opinions do as well. I love it. Diverse and wise people throwing it at me. It doesn’t get any better. From a gay couple to a wife getting ready to leave. I get all the opinions I can read. If you are like me and study your fellow humans, this is pure gold. Knowing what others see inside a relationship or want within the confines of a relationship. Golden indeed. I began this talking about what women want. I will end it the same way. Only from my perspective. They want someone nice enough to spend time with. A gentleman outwardly, but a lover behind closed doors. Someone willing to put them first. Willing to ask how they are and mean it. Someone that will have their back no matter what. Stability and low drama. Someone that wants to kiss her, talk with her, look into her eyes, and someone who will tell her the truth no matter what. Someone they don’t have to wonder about. In short. A man who deserves her. If you can’t deliver this guys. You do not.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works