Dating After Divorce “Worry”

By: Kenneth Stepp

Writing about worry is such a broad subject. Can I hone it down to just a few? I guess we’ll know shortly. This is a subject I believe myself an expert at. I worry all the time. Not the way most people do. i worry more about realistic things I can personally change. Most do not. Most worry about what might happen. The worst case scenario. Something they can’t alter either way. If I can’t change it, it’s off my menu.

“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength” – Corrie Ten Boom

This, in my humble opinion, is a great gift. I have been called cold-hearted because of this gift. I don’t believe my heart is as cold as my logical side is keen. I wasn’t always this way. I use to worry about the most ridiculous things. As a math guy, things that just weren’t going to take place. Now. If the house I’m in is in the path of an F-5 tornado. I do the math. The house has been here 37 years without being destroyed by the wind. What are the odds that today changes those odds? Not much. So, I listen to the wind howl, and drift off to sleep. So far, it’s a formula that works for me.There are other less obvious worries that math simply can’t explain. Is my forever out there? Will we find one another? These are just a couple of many questions. Yes, they are indeed worries for me. Most of the singles I meet are women. Their worries are much different from my worries. How will I pay my bills? What if i meet a guy online that turns out to be crazy? What if I remain alone? This one is tough. Alone is a worry. Even the strongest most die-hard female version of John Wayne at some point, asks. What if I grow old alone? Some ask silently. But all ask.

Relationships are so difficult. The give and take. the constant grinding away at the single edge to accommodate the couple is maddening. Worth it?  You decide. For me it does. I envision a partnership. Two exploring new sights and sounds.

For me, totally worth allowing someone to control the seat beside me. A partner. My partner in crime and my forever love. I will know her when I look into her eyes. That, after I clean out my emotional closet. It’s full. I’m guessing many of us have closets with so much in them there is no space for another’s stuff.

“As a rule, men worry more about what they can’t see than about what they can” - Julius Caesar

Interviewing and even getting to know some girls along the way as i practice navigating the single waters I find myself in. I am struck by what they worry about the most. Security. None says they will marry for money. None says they will date where stability is. But most have struggled so much, for so long. Stability can look like an island full of sunshine and drinks with umbrellas in them. I won’t cheapen them by saying this is their target. But they have every right to insist a man have a job. Most of them work very hard. Nothing wrong with wanting the same. Besides. Imagine how much easier life can be when two are pulling the cart instead of one. With extra income comes adventure. With adventure come the magnificent part of life that only new places and partnering can bring. Stop enduring and start enjoying. Takes the same energy and time.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works