As I see more of these designer breed dogs, I have wondered what breed I would create if I could make one. I came up with the following recipe for the perfect dog:
One part Golden Retriever, since they are the sweetest dogs out there.
One part Cavalier King Charles Spaniel since they are as sweet as a Golden, but in a smaller, shed-free package. They also have such adorable ever-puppy faces.
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One part Lab – not the part that chews your drywall, shoes, furniture, and eats action figures, but the part that is active and likes to chase and retrieve tennis balls, and will tirelessly run three miles with you.
One part Bulldog – yes, you heard me. Again, not the part that cannot breathe, has skin allergies, has hip dysplasia, tears its ACL, gets eye problems, and gets cancer, but the personality part. They really do have great personalities and are funny and very loveable dogs – with the exception of UGA, who infamously bit the Auburn player. (Sorry to all you AU fans out there…)
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One part Pug – again the healthy part, not the snorting, snuffling, wheezing, slobbering part – for their playful clownishness.
One part Chihuahua – the one named Tank – that lived to be 22 years old. He was mean as snake, but he lived forever. We need some “live forever” in this new breed.
One part Terrier – any Terrier, since they are some of the toughest dogs out there. They are little machines and I respect their Neopolianic complexes.
One part Border Collie since they can honestly do can calculus, they are so darn smart. We need some brainpower to overshadow the Lab part. (Sorry Lab owners – hate to pick on them again; they are loveable but sometimes they are one taco short of the combination plate!)
One part Greyhound, since they have great veins from which to draw blood and place IV catheters into. I know this one is self-serving, but I have to dedicate a few genes of this perfect dog to my fellow Animal Professionals.
And one part Low Maintenance Fantasy Dog, who is without anal glands and has toenails that never grow.
So the new and improved designer breed would be the Golden-Cavalier-Lab-Bulldog-Pug-Chi-Terrier-Collie-Greyhound-Anal Glandless-Never-Needing-a-Nail-Trim-Doodle. I added the Doodle since every breed sounds cooler these days when it ends in “Doodle”!
