Internet Do's & Dont's "I Googled You"

By: Kenneth Stepp

I will try to write this using myself as an example. Hoping that it doesn’t sound too much like a rant. This has popped up in my life from time to time.

We live in an age where everyone can play detective. We are all a few seconds away from knowing more about someone than we should. I "Googled" you.... To most, this seems like a smart thing to do. To me, it is knowledge about someone that has no backstory to it. If it isn't admissible in court. It isn't something that should be believed.

Because I have a background in investigations, I am careful about knowing too much, too soon. For example. If you Google me in quotes, 11,800 hits appear. One is negative. Yet I am asked about it all the time. What does this say about the person asking? She is looking for leverage, a flaw, something negative. Many of the hits tell of the help I have given to the homeless and poor, the few times I risked it all to rescue someone. Funny. I have never been asked about any of these.

As far as the author of my bad press. This person did so because I turned her in for stealing from me. She is still in prison for theft and meth. She threatened to ruin my reputation and tried.

Being a real investigator means having the whole story. Having the mental acuity to Google a person, doesn't make you a detective. It means you will be alone the rest of your life. Or, stuck with someone that has never done anything. Neither sound fun to me.

I have a rule. When I meet someone I like. As a friend or potential love interest. I do not look at anything in their past. I do not "Google" them. I don't ask them about their past. I only care about getting to know them personally. Not what someone else thinks about them, an arrest record, or court document. Incomplete knowledge isn't knowledge at all. It's simply unusable data. It has little to do with who this person is. So don't be a lazy sleuth. Instead. Get to know one another.

You see. As a human. We will almost always go toward what might hurt us, rather than what might help us. We look for the bad quite naturally. For this reason. I NEVER investigate. I conversate. Learning the heart of a person takes time and a clean slate. An open mind is needed as well. Many are of another religion than you, race, country, etc. Their heart may not be easy to understand for a while. Clouding that endeavor with useless information, is just silly. I want to give a person a chance.

While exploring Marietta Square, I saw a pretty girl named Jill sitting alone at an outdoor table,  & having a glass of wine. We struck up a conversation. She invited me to sit with her and chat. Jill was on the Dr Phil show a while back. Jill had been married 7 times…… I wanted this to sink in. Your mind just went somewhere judgmental about this lovely woman. This proves my point. Now the backstory. The first 5 times was between 18 and 21, if memory serves me. Then she married one twice. So, in her adult life, she has been married twice. The backstory matters. I was happy to have met her. Another quality person in my life.

k@kstepp.com

Founder, American Angel Works