Over 40 Dating & Inner Peace

By: Kenneth Stepp

Peace. I truly love that word. It’s been a while for me. My personality is usually very laid back. Honestly, very little ever gets to me. Pedophiles, rapists, liars, and bullies. That’s about it. By nature, I attack bullies immediately. And, my history with at least one rapist was pretty ugly. In general though. I live a peaceful existence. It’s just hard to get to me. Unless someone is needlessly hurt or damaged. Then, well, I am very predictable. I’ve often said. “I wouldn’t want me for an enemy”. So, why the peace today? It hasn’t been a great day. I achieved little I expected to. But here I sit. At peace.

It is my belief this is an internal blessing. I decided to explore Conyers today. Only an hour’s driv from my home. It made sense. Whe I arrived, I was impressed. A very cute, very small little town. I love those. But this was different. Nothing was open. Not a soul was walking around. No traffic at all. It was eerie. I began walking. I turned the corner, in the distance was a man sitting at a table on the sidewalk, reading his newspaper. I introduced myself, shook hands, and asked, Where is everyone. His name was Homer. Homer stated that nothing intown was ever open on Sunday. This, because of stealth blue laws. Churches pressure their leaders to pressure the business owners, to close. on Sunday. An unwritten law. Illegal, totally against the constitution. But if they open, they are attacked with various citations and fees. Until it is no longer profitable to open. Unamerican at it’s core. But they do run for reelection.

I decided that I would go to Atlanta. Blue laws don’t exist there.I found myself at Fellini’s Pizza. Great food, cold beer, and very average service. I’m here as I write. Sitting at a table on their sunny patio, writing my thoughts. A few moments ago I found myself tilting my head back, shutting my eyes, and allowing peace to permeate my entire self. What a feeling. One i haven’t had for years. One I I absolutely hope to have more in time. This singles arena at my age will wear one down fast. I believe I am developing a case of PTSD from dodging the insanity every day.

Compelled to keep moving forward in my quest to find my “forever”. I am undaunted bt the roadblocks, confusion, and pain that comes with it. But this moment has healing attached to it. These moments make me feel relaxed and later energizes. A much needed break from the rat race of singles in paradise. Perhaps this will be a weekly thing. I find my happy place every seven days. I would take it. That’s enough for me. There are some, like me before this moment. That go years without this peace. I forgot how addictive peace can be to a dry person, void of love. The search alone can be the most frustrating abventure, or endevor, one ever attemts.. Yet, we always line up for more. I am now studying the science behind love, pain, longing, and relational health. I always figured there would be some out there. I recently found some studies that are stunning. I have just touched the tip of them. But am so excited about learning what science has to say about it. Odds are, if you are reading this, we are going down this road at the same time. I hope you have better luck than me. I am still trying to reopen my hear. It will happen. I believe it has already begun. Free your minds as much as you can. Belief and hope are interesting things. They can be good and bad. Remember that as you go.

k@kstepp.com