SINGLE AGAIN & DATING “THE HUNGER”

By: Kenneth Stepp 

Searching my feeble mind for what describes this chase that single life can foment. Hunger seemed right. The level of desire can be looked at as “to devour” when allowed to grow. Talking about this part of being single has been off my menu for many reasons. None of which is that I don’t experience it myself. I do. We all do. Some more than others. 

Humans are emotional, physical, and yes, sexual creatures. Accept that and move forward. To think you are inferior to others because you have inappropriate desires, thoughts, and urges, is insulting on it’s face. If you believe an entity created you, remember, they created those parts that swell, throb, and leak too. And, they made them to use. You specific belief will tell you how much and with whom. All believe they have the only real truth and know all the real rules. Weigh the risks and what you can live with and dive in. At the end of the day, we all do this.than once 

Feelings….. Intense feelings of wanting. Ever been there? I’ll go first. Yes I have. More . Sometimes you meet someone and it goes through your body like a burst of electricity. You are alive in ways that are not only healthy, but natural. Yet we hide it, run from it, or deny it. For me. I embrace it, study to make myself better as a sexual partner, and am totally open in this regard. Very open. 

“Kiss a lover, 

Dance a measure, 

Find your name 

And buried treasure. 

Face your life, 

It’s pain, 

It’s pleasure, 

Leave no path untaken.” 

―Neil Gailman 

Enjoy life or endure it. The choice is our own. What we allow in our lives to guilt or shame us, really can damage our happiness. It can cause us to live a lie. Make us far less human than we were created to be. It isn’t that the rules have changed. It is that those spouting the rules are no longer relevant. Walls are coming down. Humanity is beginning to enjoy themselves. 

Most have no idea where this is coming from as I write. I write using a pen name. Not here, but when I write about sexuality. People find me. Many get a return email from me. These are couples who have given up on sexuality in their marriage. Sad really. I am asked questions, asked to meet listen hopefully give them some advice. I never say no. I love helping and this is a subject I believe needs to be hit head on. Finding couples held back because of generational programming about sex is prevalent. Getting them to lower these walls is something I enjoy helping them with. I have success stories too. Beautiful stories of relationships being invigorated. Reborn. Alive again. Hunger is indeed, a good word to use here. A wonderful, beautiful, natural hunger. 

If you are fortunate enough to have someone special in your life, you are blessed. If trust exists, great intimacy can as well. I have one rule as long as great trust is there. I never judge, never question, never cast guilt or shame, never say no. Enjoy the ride my friends. This train won’t run forever. 

k@kstepp.com 

Founder, American Angel Works