Single Again - Trusting Again

By: Kenneth Stepp

I have touched on the trust factor. Just haven’t dedicated a lot of time to it. Probably because it is so important, that I have shyed away. Maybe it’s time to give it a go. My trust factor, like many at this age and in this arena, has become much lower than it once was. I will attempt to explain why.

I want to go on record stating all famous quotes are in my opinion, unfounded, and easily shown to be incorrect. The following is one of these.

“I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we’re not wise enough to see it”Oprah   

Oprah lives in a world unlike my own. Perhaps this is why we disagree. Luck, fate, or kismet have nothing to do with trust. I suppose one could spin one into another. But, in the end, trust is a spiritual journey. Luck is not. Every now and then I buy a lottery ticket. Hoping for good luck. Trusting I will win isn’t there at all.

Over-trusting has cost me more than most will ever see in their life. More money, stuff, and loves. I have lived a blessed, although, exciting life. Over-trusting has been my downfall every time. Trusting someone is my default. Most, won’t trust until the other person has earned their trust. I offer it willingly. I believe I still do. I once said, “I would rather be gullible than paranoid”. I still feel this way. Trust is always attached to love. Therefore we risk being hurt. Mother Theresa knew this.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love” - Mother Theresa

Her quote resonates in my soul. She trusted in the value of others and lived what she believed. She lived a hard life. A boots on the ground attitude. In the toughness of Calcutta. Yet she enjoyed life in poverty. We endure it in luxury. Trusting in others made that difference.

Jealousy is a trust killer. I learned in my teen years that trust can only destroy lives and relationships. It serves no purpose at all. To covet, I have been told, is actually motivation. I understand the concept. I’m glad I outgrew it though. I remember my Rolex wearing days. I always had to have an 18K solid one. That way everyone would know how important I was. In those days, I didn’t trust in me enough to let me be me. I still have a very nice, high end watch somewhere. No idea where. It helps to not care what others think of you too.

For me, I freely give you my trust. I will only do that once. I hear trust is earned. In my case, it’s usually freely given. Those that have taken advantage of my trust have never earned it back. So, I can’t speak to the earning trust scenario. I will end this where I began. With a truth about trust.

“Loving someone is giving them the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to” - Julianne Moore

Remember. Opening your heart is the goal. But, so is hitting the bullseye painted in the center of it. There is seldom a reward without a risk.

k@kstepp.com

Founder, American Angel Works