Single Again "Forgetting & Forgiving"

By: Kenneth Stepp
Let me start by saying two knowns. We all have someone to forgive. And we all have something to be forgiven for. Both will direct where you life goes from here. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness. Eventually that will create a person that no one wants to be near. It’s toxic. Breaking these chains is the only way to ever find lasting happiness. 
Forgiveness, forgets. If it doesn’t, it wasn’t forgiveness at all. These are complex emotions we are dealing with. I have been so lucky in life in this regard. If I forgive, it’s gone. It won’t pop up a year later during an argument as a talking point. It no longer exists. I can’t tell you why I’m wired this way. It must have been something from my childhood. I have always been this way. Most, however, have to learn the hard way. The way I learn most important lessons in life. Through pain. Sometimes, a lot of it.
I interview people about these matters. I have not spoken with anyone to date that remembers learning something big while they were winning. So, I will claim this to be a universal lesson and move on. We can all agree we want to be better people. None of us want to pay the price of becoming one. Myself included. Pain, hurt, damage, etc. They suck as tutors. Yet they are what we have to deal with. 
For myself. Forgetting is the component I require the most. It is a healer for me. I only wish everyone enjoyed it like me. For one thing people wouldn’t remember some of the things I said and did that I wish I could redo. Short of time travel, that “ain’t” happening. I use to cringe when I remembered some of the things I did. Ever drunk post on Facebook? Right. Only me. Returning an email to someone that pushed all my buttons. I have never found an unsend button. If someone would invent one, they would never have to worry about money again.
My escape from reality has become what keeps me real. Weird how that worked. I write. Writing has become my island paradise. Surprisingly. I found an audience too. My ramblings are read.
“I would advise anyone who aspires to a writing career that before developing his talent he would be wise to develop a thick hide.”—Harper Lee
Critics are many. I receive some interesting emails. Many telling me I need an editor. I have one. I just don’t use them. My bad. I don’t take myself seriously at all. Nor do I want anyone else to. I write for me. To understand the words in my head, I must write them. It’s my belief that everyone needs an outlet to sort their thoughts. I hope we all find ours. When you do, things make sense again. Without it, some find it hard to think things through. Finding the proper paths in the single again arena is impossible at times. For me, when my first relationship failed, my rebound relationship. My world was shattered. I gave all I had and came up short. It happens. This one still stings. Some days worse than others. I can do life again though. For a while, that was in question. Moving on. Two words in constant motion. How do we? We forgive and forget. 
k@kstepp.comFounder, American Angel Works