Single Again "Just You" The Emotions Of Oneness

By: Kenneth Stepp

To dance around this subject the way I have in the past, is something I am trying to stop. I want to get honest about being me and only me. Being just me. Meaning, no longer part of a couple has been the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life. I watch others with amazement, completely content. I have no idea how they pull it off. I get that we can all get into a zone. I also believe in the silence of a moment. We miss something. The alone feeling can grow large in a moment. I can be happy one minute, and be slammed with emotions I thought I put to bed a long time ago. Ever been there?

We all have distractions. Some we fabricated. Some just pop up. The popups are usually associated with our kids of course. The parents reading this will appreciate and agree with that statement. I build most of my distractions myself. Hobbies, studies, and friends. The list can be exhaustive and endless. However, there are still those moments. It happens in an instant. BANG! It hurts. I become lost in thought. Most of my readers know that those moments involve a lost love for me. The moments are fewer now. But, they still come. I hear they will eventually stop. I’ve only experienced this once before. It stopped. But it took many years. Do you have a lost love? Is it because we lost? Or something else?  To be honest. The more I try to understand. The murkier it looks.

Emotional Oneness… It sounds like a disease or syndrome, doesn’t it? It’s a real phenomenon. I do know that. One that has plagued me fo a while. One that I will eventually conquer. Time is the healer of many wounds. Especially emotional ones. Oneness can be celebrated and enjoyed. I am told this. I just haven’t met anyone that is truly alone and happy. Many say they are. Upon further examination. They really aren’t.

For me. I’m on an incredible journey. I can honestly say, I have met the most interesting people ever. In the last year. They have been plentiful. From couples wanting to save their marriage, to singles, trying to understand the rules. I have met girls. Single mothers that are simply amazing. Some going back to school, some putting kids through college by themselves, some, a tower of strength I can only hope to be a small bit like. Girls I hope to know a very long time. I could write a book about any one of them. Simply goddesses. Is being a single mom having a superpower? I could make a viable argument it is. Of course. I debate well.

Admitting I act differently in my truck alone is a biggie for me. But, what the heck, right? I turn the music up loud and pretend I can sing. In reality, my singing sounds like a cross between someone having a root canal without anesthesia and cattle dying. As I’m laying down at night, I sometimes dream I won the lottery. I dream of the people I know I would show up and change their lives. I have many. So, it needs to be HUGE! I finally realized why I do this. It’s an emotional sauve. It covers up the real life emotions I want to suppress. There aren’t that many really. But, they have a profound affect on my life. We all have them. You want to know why I know? You’ve had the same fantasies I have. Stop denying and start buying. We all have them. They distract us from the oneness that our place in life rests. Being alone is not a bad thing. I can handle mine until I am completely sure I have found my forever love. Making a mistake, just to speed the search along would be worse that being alone times ten. Finding another human that loves me unconditionally is all we should concede our alone title to.

My future. Like yours, should have laughter, adventure, and fun in it. It can happen. It happened to me once. So, it’s out there. If you meet such a person. Walk to the edge of the mountain. Close your eyes. Take a deep breathe. Walk off into oblivion. Risk is part of life. Know what the value of the reward is. If it is love. Enjoy the fall. There will be someone at the bottom of that mountain waiting to catch you. And they can’t wait to hold you.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works