Single And Ready

By: Kenneth Stepp

Ready? What does that really mean? To me, it means more than I could ever put in a writing this size. It is complex, detailed, and entangled in many other things. First. Ready for what? A long term relationship, dating, a hookup, friend with benefits? All very different. What if, like me, you just don’t know? Uncertainty for any reason should give us pause.

Being single is not a bad or a good thing. Just a thing. Make the most of it, but know what you want out of it. Most of us suffered in some way to get here. Respect the journey and the emotional toll it has cost so far. I promise. For every person. It was high. It always is.

“Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Reverend King knew the high cost of change. He paid the ultimate price in the end. He always knew he might have to. Yet kept going. Bravery is seldom mentioned as a trait of his. It’s the first thing I think of when I think of him.

There are some that are willing to not risk. I understand them too. In the middle of a big hurt, I’ve been known to regret taking that last leap myself. But, I want it all. I want the eyes of my forever staring back at me after making love with me. Touching, talking tenderly about anything that pops into our minds. All barriers gone. Just us. No world, no problems, no worries. I have experienced this before. I want it again. Have you ever been there? How did it affect you?

“hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the heart of the other” - Rainer Maria Rilke

I remember those moments. How can I not? They were highlights in my life. They changed who I am and tell me what I desire most today. Am I searching for something that is real? Or am I trying desperately to recreate the past? I guess these are the questions my journey is forcing me to face. Do I dismantle everything and try to forget? I tried that already. Obviously, it isn’t that easy. How does one get ready. My partner did. Why haven’t I? Another query I will dwell on too much. One does have to be in another place than the other. Because we are all different. Maybe that’s the simple answer.

Where does one begin to get ready? I would love to hear suggestions from my readers. i’ve had enough starting places only to wind up with my face firmly squashed into the same wall. It evokes some interesting feelings in me. Today, like many days. I am at my “office”, Top Dawg Tavern. I have other friends that are writers. They see I’m here a lot and are beginning to show up, grab a private table, and write. It’s the perfect spot. I usually sit outside with the breeze. I love it out here. Yes. I’m writing this on their patio.

We should form a group dedicated to getting our hearts “ready”. I would like that. I keep thinking I am, then something happens. A song, a smell, a memory. Not ready again. It messes with you. I know others going through the same thing. Time is what I hear that heals. The more time that passes without results, the more I question the wisdom of it. Tell me your story. Are you ready?

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works