Why do dogs eat crazy things?

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

I often contemplate this while performing surgery to remove interesting items from my patients’ stomachs and intestines. I will ponder…did this object (remote control, drywall, beach towel, Barbie doll, etc.) actually taste good going down? Was this an enjoyable gastroenterological experience, or was this a case of sheer willpower to choke it down once the dog decided to eat it – much the way I feel about cauliflower? 

It takes a lot to surprise us in our office, but we recently had a hungry lab who raised the bar on bad culinary choices. When the owner came into our office and said he ate a plate of brownies, I did my standard procedure of making the dog vomit. Chocolate is very toxic to dogs, so we need to get it out of their system as fast as possible before digestion. I figured that this would be easy – I would make the dog vomit, avoid him having a seizure from the chocolate, send the dog home, the owner would be happy--in and out of the office, all in under an hour.

Well, that is not exactly how it went. I gave him the medication to make him vomit, and our staff gathered around to see how much the dog had eaten (I know, this seems strange to outsiders, but from experience, trust me, it can be very interesting to see what things come up!). Well, the first big pile of vomit came up and all of us heard the sound of glass hitting the floor. You could have heard a pin drop (no pun intended – we did have a dog eat a bunch of pins as well). All of us were thinking – glass? Really? So this dog didn’t just eat a plate of brownies…he ate a plate AND the brownies! Our next thought was…uh-oh, how much more glass is in there? So, I take an X-ray of the dog and sure enough, he’s got a stomach full of glass. No more in and out of the office in an hour.  We just went from an outpatient visit to a major surgical procedure.

Which brings me to why I am in surgery contemplating why this dog ate the glass. Did he realize he was eating glass, or were the brownies just that good that a little crunchiness did not matter? Kinda like the nuts in your banana bread? At some point during the ingestion of the glass, did his brain say, “hmmm, this may not be the best idea,” or did the little voice in his head say, “Yum! Crunchy chocolate! It stings a little going down, but…chocolate!” A few minutes after finishing the glass with a topping of brownies, did he realize what a bad decision he had made, or was he off again looking for other things to eat? At the point he threw up the glass did he have a moment of realization that eating glass = not good? Did any part of the thousands of years of evolution cause him to pause while ingesting the glass? Probably not, and as I remove handfuls and handfuls of glass from his stomach, I know that as soon as he wakes up, he will probably try to eat something else.  I love the labs, but boy, they do eat the strangest things. 

We hear and see so many funny stories about the crazy things dogs eat…what’s yours? Got a good doggie dining faux pas to share?