Regardless of whether the source of your pain is external or internal, being willing to accept the reality of a situation is the quickest route to peace. When we are in the midst of lifes’ turbulent moments, relaxing and allowing things to be as they are is not our natural tendency. We want to brace ourselves and find our way out the discomfort! Unfortunately, that often means turning to temporary means of relief that add to our suffering. Those temporary remedies may include substances, sex, relationships, or internally fighting back emotions we have labeled forbidden. Resisting reality increases anxiety and depression symptoms, thus prolonging our pain.
Acceptance involves going against our natural instinct. Thankfully, we are capable of developing new habits. And with the new habit of accepting life on life’s terms, an interesting thing occurs. Something within us opens up. We experience a decrease in stress, an increase in hope, and effective solutions to our problems begin to appear. You are less likely to react harshly to your loved ones or make rash decisions that we may later regret. The choice to accept even changes the structure of your brain. With consistent practice, it will become easier over time. So even though accepting is easier said than done, you can begin practicing in small ways. When you are stuck in traffic or at the end of a long line, take a deep breath (or a few), acknowledge the situation at hand and your inability to change it. Then, open yourself up to noticing your feelings or details in your surroundings that you would have otherwise missed had you been obsessing about things not going your way. Practicing with the small challenges in life will help develop the neural pathways necessary to weather major difficulties.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr, Serenity Prayer
