Common Sense Series # 1: Hello ... can I speak with a real live human being?

Introduction — I wrote a series of several blogs on “Preparing for the Future”. Although the series was well received and popular, it became apparent that a great many of the readers of Patch Decatur are more interested in contemporary, timely issues. I have decided to put the previous blog series on hold and launch a new series that will hopefully be more relevant and interesting. The new blog series is entitled, “Common Sense” and begins below.

 With due apologies to Thomas Paine, patriot and author of the original treatise ""Common Sense, I would like to dedicate this blog series to all of us in consumer land  who routinely put up with stupid things that some businesses, governments and institutions thrust upon us that make absolutely no sense, certainly not “common sense.” The blog will focus on the consumer’s point of view and although I will attempt to be reasonable with the perpetrators of these actions, I won’t hesitate to tell it the way it is. All of the events are true and the smart perpetrators would do well to correct the problem and not explain why it must be done in a way that does not make sense to all of us.   

Have you ever been caught in the electronic wasteland of misguided Customer Service when you call to resolve a problem or get information? All you want to do is speak with a real, live human being but some organizations put you through a gauntlet of electronic programming …

Last week I called the customer service department of an unnamed business to inquire about a payment error and was greeted by an electronic voice that gave me a list of 6 options to direct my call (elapsed time: 1 minute, 30 seconds). I listened and punched #3 and got another electronic voice that asked me for my account number. After punching in about 20 or so numbers, the voice repeated them back to me (elapsed time: 4 minutes) and then gave me a series of five more options to refine my request. (By the way, why can’t a company have shorter account numbers?) This time I entered #2 and was greeted by a third electronic voice that said, “Due to unexpected heavy call volume (this means they are understaffed), you may want to consider calling back at another time (or simply forgetting about it). Your call will be answered in the order it was received …”

Finally, after another 5 minutes, the call was answered by a real, live person (oh, joy!) who immediately asked for my account number.” I told her that I had already keyed in the information but she said that she had to verify my account and identity by asking for the last 4 digits of my social security number (elapsed time: 10 minutes). I told her I wasn’t trying to break into the Pentagon. Apparently, I was too direct because she put me on hold (oh, no, not again!) and I entered the electronic inner sanctum of elevator music and commercials (elapsed time: 15 minutes).

I waited and waited because now I was committed to see it through to the bitter end. Finally, a different voice came on the line and said, “And, how may I provide you with world class service?” Are you kidding me? After over 22 minutes of waiting, I still had not been able to tell anyone the purpose of my call and they are alluding to world class service? But, before I could say anything, she too asked me for my account number and last 4 digits of my social security number, really! After another 15 minutes, I got the problem fixed, but what a waste of time and technology! 

The sad reality is that most of us have experienced similar problems. What kind of misguided customer service policy allows a company to abuse its customers by using electronic answering systems as an excuse for real, people-provided service? The original intent of electronic answering systems was to automate the repetitive phases of the calling process so that the customer service operator could handle more calls, more effectively. Unfortunately, some companies have used the systems as a means to reduce personnel by replacing human touch and decision making with electronic explanations and programmed delays.

I urge senior executives to call their own customer service departments during heavy volume periods and see how difficult it is to talk to a real live person in a timely manner.  

It makes sense, common sense, to remember the customer when designing and managing electronic call systems. There is never an excuse for impersonal service and lengthy delays.

If this blog hit a nerve and you would like to share your favorite customer service experience, send in your comment.