The Rules of the Road

I know I can be a grumpy old man sometimes, but I think it all boils down to this simple belief; we live in a society of rules, and some of us aren't living up to that social contract in the Decatur and Avondale Estates area.

Civilization hinges on the fact that we've all decided to get along together, and that means following the rules. You agree to respect the rights and responsibilities of others, and in turn, you get things like peace, tranquility, property rights, and the right to pursue happiness. Simple, huh?

Nowhere is this more clear than on the roadways. Driving on a road means you agree to follow (at least) the most rudimentary, agreed-upon rules. Things like... stopping at lights and stop signs. Signaling. Maintaining your lane. Following right-of-way rules. Stuff like that. We all agree on these rules when we get a license or use the public roads, and while there are those who fail to obey these rules, we roundly condemn them, unless they're riding a bicycle.

No, I'm not one of those "bicycles have no right to be on the road" folks. I am, however, one of those "if you use the road, follow the rules of the road" folks. I'm all for bikes. They're green, and good exercise, and a responsible use of technology. What I'm against is scofflaws.

Let me explain. I grew up in a small suburb of Columbus, Ohio. Each Spring there would be a rite of passage for kids who wanted to ride a bicycle for the first time. You would have to take a training course held at the local recreational facility on bicycle safety where you'd learn defensive riding, signaling, the rules of the road, and your rights and responsibilities as a rider. At the end of it you'd get a sticker that would go on the back of your bike; a bike license, and off you'd go, peddling your way to the freedom that a bike allowed you. It was a proud moment for kids. They had taken some responsibility in their lives.

Now, I'm not suggesting that bicyclists do this nowadays, but I mention it to explain my angst when I see a bicyclist blow through a red light, or a stop sign. Why do they do that? What's the justification? Why are they special? Some might say something about maintaining momentum, expressing some inchoate fear of entropy, but I thought the idea was to get exercise. There's nothing better than stopping and restarting to get that heart rate up... Obey the rules of the road!

And why do they coast 2 abreast, holding up a line of traffic on busy roads? Some might say "safety," but if cars did that, safety wouldn't be the result. It would be chaos. Bicycles should act like other vehicles and just obey the rules of the road.

And why do they ignore the bike trails which were built exclusively for them with millions of tax dollars, preferring to ride alongside them instead? I see this all the time along Church Street, between North Decatur and Glendale roads. Is it some sort of machismo thing? Some territorial thing? Maybe we could spend public money on "car trails" where cars could travel safely and unimpeded. Perhaps we could call them, uh... I dunno... maybe something like "motorways?"

And don't get me started on the ridiculous outfits "serious" cyclists wear. Listen pal, you're not Lance Armstrong, you're a middle-aged arrested-developmental goofball wearing a bullet helmet and stretchy pants, and I gotta say... It's not a good look.

At least from my angle, stuck behind you in traffic.