Admitting You’re Wealthy First Step to Putting Money to Good Use

A single-family estate in Greenwich, Connecticut recently sold for $120 million, the highest amount ever paid for a home in this country. A few years ago, a painting by Cézanne sold for $250 million. A Lamborghini Veneno Roadster can be yours for $4.5 million.

The people who purchase these and similar items have no problem declaring to the world how wealthy they are. In fact, these purchases may be fueled in no small part by that very desire. There are plenty of people eager to show off their high-wealth status, with many businesses created to allow them to do so.

Yet, most wealthy people I encounter are reluctant to admit that they are indeed wealthy, among the highest net worth people in the world. I’ve heard some people worth well in excess of $10 million claim, “Well, I’m wealthier than some, less wealthy than others.”

While I’m no proponent of flaunting wealth and can admire their modesty, these millionaires have something to be proud of. Most of them made this money themselves.

Thomas J. Stanley, author of several books, including the best seller “The Millionaire Next Door,” wrote in a recent blog post that the number of self-made millionaires in this country is actually increasing.

“In my thirty plus years of surveying and studying millionaires, I have consistently found that 80 to 86% are self made,” he wrote. “That also applies to decamillionaires. In 1982 according to Forbes about 38% of America’s wealthiest people were self-made.  In 2012, the percentage jumped to 70%.”

So these people worked really hard and made a lot of money. Why the reluctance to admit it? I wonder if it’s because we want to be part of the middle class. We don’t want to appear elitist or boastful.  Do we feel guilty or have a negative image of the wealthy? We don’t want to be one of “them?”  

In an article in Marketplace.org, “Flaunting their riches is not for the stealthy wealthy,” author Sean Cole spoke with Jamie Traeger-Muney with Wealth Legacy Group, who describes herself as a consultant for the wealthy.

“I know it’s a lot of fun sometimes to bash the wealthy,” she said. "But it’s sort of a lose-lose proposition. Because people go underground. They don’t use their resources in positive ways and … one of the most important things they want to do is be part of something larger than themselves, make a positive difference in the world. And when they’re caught up with the shame and the guilt and the hiding, it doesn’t allow them to move as freely and to use those resources to benefit the world in the ways they’d like to.”

And that’s the problem. Not recognizing your wealth is limiting. You are unlikely to do with it whatever you could. You end up not feeling empowered to use it fully to your benefit or to create something good for the world.

I don’t know that we’ll adequately answer the question of why people find it hard to admit they are wealthy. But I can suggest that if you are a high-net worth individual, don’t feel guilty or ashamed about it. Frankly, that does nobody any good.

Admit it. Yes, you do have a lot of money, more than 99%, maybe even 99.5% of the population. Accept that about yourself and then go do something useful with that money. Make a positive difference in the world.

David Geller is the author of Wealth and Happiness: Using Your Wealth to Create a Better Life.  He is the CEO of Atlanta-based GV Financial Advisors and is available for professional speaking engagements.