Mental Health and the Care-Giver

Editor's Note: Today, East Atlanta Patch begins a new blog focused on mental health issues written by Brandy Smith, a licensed professional counselor. Have a question or issue you like to see addressed? Let Brandy know in comments.

A new year often comes with new resolutions and commitments.  As a member of the East Atlanta community, a commitment that I am making to myself and to my neighbors is to support each of our well-beings to the extent that I can.  As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I realize that my training, knowledge, and experience may help you create and maintain mental or emotional well-being.

Before I begin, I’d like to share a bit about myself.  With the exception of about 5.5 years of college and living abroad, I have called Metro Atlanta my home since I was 12 years old.  I moved inside the perimeter in 2003, and have lived south of Ponce since 2006. My journey has been one of language, communication, and connection: in the past, I have taught Italian and English; now, as a Professional Counselor at Avanti Counseling Services in Oakhurst, I help people learn to understand their experience, give voice to it, and feel empowered to move forward and make desired changes. 

In my first written attempt to help my neighbors create and maintain emotional health, I’d like to take a look at one of the ways mental wellness can unintentionally be neglected.  I recently read a story of a newlywed whose husband’s brain tumor diagnosis shook her world in more ways than one.  For them, the wedding vows of “for better or worse” and “until death do us part” almost immediately jumped to the forefront of their marriage as his brain tumor altered his personality and deprived her of her life partner.  In a world that was focused on his illness and untimely death, she was required to attend to his needs and those of the children.  In addition, her focus shifted completely to inside the house, effectively isolating her from any support system she may have had. 

Ultimately, this woman’s experience (like that of many caregivers), was that there was no time, room, or means of addressing her needs; as such, she ignored them.  Friends and family focused on the terminally ailing husband, and the medical professionals treating him compounded her sense of despair and loneliness: "’It was so about the patient -- there was nothing for me,’ she said…’I was so depressed, but I couldn't be depressed because it wasn't about me. I was lonely and scared and the person that I knew had vanished."

The result was terribly unfortunate: her anxiety evolved into depression, and when she finally allowed herself to reach out for the help she deserved, she was diagnosed with PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

You may wonder why this story, above all others, grabbed my attention to the point of wanting to share it with you.  Take a look at these statistics:

• Approximately one-third of Americans are caring for an ailing or disabled relative;
• Caregivers are more prone to experience stress and chronic illness; and,
• 70% of caregivers are estimated to be women.

These startling statistics will likely continue to increase, so I hope you’ll take a few moments check out how you can avoid depression, PTSD, and physical illness while caring for a dependent loved one.  Here are a few things to consider if you find yourself or someone you love in the primary-caregiving position:

• Be alert to signs of stress.  Although these are unique to each individual, some common indicators of increased stress include sleep disruption, depressed mood, over- or under-eating, anxiety, and self-isolation; 
• Implement a stress-relief regimen that you know works for you.  For some, this may be exercise.  For others, it could be meditation.  Determine what helps lighten your stress load and commit to incorporating it into your life at regular and reliable intervals;
• Ask for help.  Although many of us feel responsible for our loved ones, and therefore do not want to burden others, oftentimes the help we need is only one request away.  Asking for help may feel daunting at first; however, like most things, it becomes easier with practice.  Keep asking for help until you get what you need.  If you find that friends and family are unable to assist, perhaps a home health care service can help take the edge off of overwhelming demands;
• Stay connected.  While words like “isolation” and “loneliness” may sound extreme, these feelings may be the accumulation of “micro” choices to not maintain connections with friends, family, and the world.  For example, in the day-to-day grind of caring for a loved one, returning phone calls from friends may seem like less of a priority.  However, the more you stay connected to the people who care about you and what you’re going through, the less likely you are to reach a crippling sense of isolation; and lastly,
• Act early.  Like most things, there can be an evolution to mental disorders: anxiety is often the precursor to depression, and PTSD can precede other dissociative disorders.  If you can intervene early on (i.e., when your stress-relief regimen and support systems no longer help you feel better), then the road back to mental wellness may be less difficult.  Finding a support group or building a relationship with a licensed mental health professional could help.

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Brandy Smith is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Avanti Counseling Services, Inc. in the Oakhurst District of Decatur.  For additional information about this post or about services available, please visit www.AvantiCounselingServices.com.