What's in a Name: The Power of Names and Naming

When I was a child, around the age of 6, I learned that my mother almost named me “Kimberly.” As I had a philosophical streak in me even then, I pondered what my life would’ve been like as “Kimberly” rather than “Brandy.” Would I have more friends? Would I enjoy different things? Would I be better at kickball? Thus the seed was planted in my head that names and words have more than just a dictionary meaning—they can shape your experience of the world around you.

So, as I began to dream of self-employment, I put considerable time and energy into conceptualizing my name and logo. I wanted something that would capture, as effortlessly as possible, the myriad of things that I do as a Licensed Professional Counselor. I listen attentively. I notice and reflect on patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. I hold hope for change, even when the client has lost hope. I cry with people, I laugh with them, and I make the space safe enough for them to express their anger — even when it's directed at me. I create a space and a therapeutic framework in which healing can occur, all so that the client feels empowered to move forward. And then it hit me — move forward. Immediately I was reminded of my years studying Italian and living in Italy. The word that was clear was “avanti.” Avanti is the word used to indicate forward movement — and that’s exactly what I help people do. Avanti Counseling Services was born. Finding the right word, even if it’s in a different language, felt so good and empowering to me.

In order to help people move forward, I do some stereotypical things like encourage people to express their feelings. What many people do not realize is that in order to express feelings, it is necessary to identify them first.  “Identify” is a fancy word for putting words to something, or “naming.” Herein lies the challenge for many people—many of us learn from a very young age to detach ourselves from our feelings. We are encouraged to think before we speak. When we do share our feelings, they are sometimes received with doubt and defensiveness, which can cause us to question either the emotions themselves or the purpose in sharing them. So many of us grow up detaching ourselves from emotions, and we find ourselves in adult relationships (both personal and professional) either unaware of our feelings or powerless to share them. Whether they are detached from their emotions or drowning in them, my clients report a sense of feeling liberated from them when they are able to exercise their power by naming them. For them, labeling their anger, pain, disappointment, or fear can help them feel empowered.

The power to name, to put words on a thought or feeling, can be empowering and help us feel better. We’ve all had the experience at some point in our life when someone says, 'Oh, it sounds like you’re frustrated,' and then we are aware that we are, in fact, frustrated, and that having it labeled and acknowledged feels comforting. In my next post, I will discuss the naming of "grief" and "depression," and how the name could direct your path forward and out of it.  

__________________________________________________________

Brandy Smith is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Avanti Counseling Services, Inc. in the Oakhurst District of Decatur.  For additional information about this post or about services available, please visit www.AvantiCounselingServices.com.