How to Write an Introductory Blog Post

(cue awesome opening music)

I never know how to open a blog. How are you supposed to introduce yourself without sounding stupid?

Example One:

“Ohmigosh! Hi readers! I’m (fill-in-the-blank)! This blog is, like, gonna be awesome. Keep reading and posting so I don’t feel lonely. L”

Yeah. I’d totally read that.

Example Two:

“I’m (fill-in-the-blank)… I hate the world… Why are you reading this? You don’t care… no one understands me…”

Angstangstangst.

Example Three:

“Hey world, er patchers, er… whatevers! I’m Josh Jacobs, and this is the blog I’m gonna be writing for the East Cobb Patch. I’m a Junior at Wheeler, and… I like to write. If I mention any real people I’ll probably give them a pseudonym. Even though it’s probably pointless… I’m rambling again. Wow. Okay, I’m done.”

Oh… wait.

As you can see, writing this opening post was hard. But fun. Like I hope writing the rest of the blog is gonna be.

Now, how do you write the end of a post…?