Tough Transitions: 2nd to 3rd Grade

By: Dr. Kathrynn Seidler Engberg, Picasso, Director of Education

The transition from 2nd to 3rd grade can be one of the biggest leaps you will see your child make as a parent. During this phase you begin to really catch glimpses of the young adult they are on their way to becoming. At the same time, your child has not completely left childhood behind. While your child may begin to exhibit more confidence, independence, and express the desire to not be so closely tied to parents, they are still full of silliness. You may begin to notice more pop culture references in their jokes, as they giggle with friends in the back of your car during school pick up. By 3rd grade, children are becoming more aware socially, and become more influenced by external forces. Friends, music, video games, and internet, begin impacting your child’s perception of the world at this stage of development, more so than during previous stages of your child’s life. The impact of outside influences can often be unnerving for many parents of 3rd graders.

Your 3rd grader is facing huge changes academically, challenges which can also unnerve parents. When children enter into 3rd grade, the level of work and expectation becomes much more challenging than what they experienced in previous grades. The reading passages get tougher, the amount of writing gets longer, and the level of abstract thinking in mathematics increases. There is a noticeable escalation in homework because this is the year that your child has to memorize multiplication tables and other important foundation information. Your 3rd grader is also faced with standardized testing for the first time. These scores often determine whether a school is labeled as successful, and so there is added pressure placed your child to master concepts. As a result, 3rd graders often begin to exhibit new emotions about school that they have never felt before. Often children begin to feel anxiety about homework and going to school because the pressure to succeed has increased. Many children struggle with perfectionist tendencies, trying to make their work perfect, because they have a growing sense that everything they do has impact on their success.
 

As a parent you can help your child have an easier transition from 2nd to 3rd grade. You need to become more aware of who their friends are and what external influences may be impacting your child. Do not be afraid to filter friends who you think may have a negative impact. Encourage your child to be more independent and hang out with friends, but also set aside time to connect one-on-one. Family dinner without distractions, planning activities that encourage family engagement, and even just making time to talk becomes increasingly important at this stage. Your 3rd grader may protest, but in the long run, they will love you for taking the initiative to engage them and get to know the person they are becoming.
 

Getting more involved in their academics becomes important as well. As a parent, you can help your child mitigate the increased stress of performing well at school by offering lots of encouragement. Praise the effort they put into learning a new concept, memorizing facts, or spending extra time to do an assignment well. Be sure to iterate to your child that tests and grades do not necessarily determine future success. If your child faces struggle, or even failure, help them see that these moments are part of the learning process. Turn homework into a game, especially if rote memorization is involved. Make time to quiz, even in short spurts while driving your car or cooking dinner. Help provide spaces that are conducive for your child to accomplish their homework. Your child may like to crawl away in quiet, or your child may need the social interaction of sitting near you, while you cook, surf the internet, or do your tasks. To balance the intensified work load, be sure to provide your child with unscheduled downtime, where they can just be themselves, doing what they like to do.

Most importantly, let your child know they are loved and encourage laughter. Even if they act embarrassed, tell them you love them and be silly with them. They may roll their eyes at you, but deep down it matters to your child. It is so much easier to face challenges, new experiences, and big transitions, when you know someone cares.

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