Dating After Divorce "Rumors, Hearsay, & You"

By: Kenneth Stepp

Rumors…… Easy to say, can be brutal on the innocent victims of them. I have watched as people sit and dissect people behind their backs. Then see them in person and be the best of friends. Maybe one of the lowest of human traits.

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people” - Eleanor Roosevelt

My experience personally has made a better me. 7 Years ago I had a $1.3 million dollar theft in my business. An $8 million dollar bankruptcy followed. Many were hurt. We lost everything. One thing I wasn’t expecting was losing my good name. I had always been a good businessman, had many friends, and had social status. The rumors were flying. I hid millions, stole funds, did this or that. Sadly, these were mostly by those same people I thought were my friends. That stung so much it crippled me. Then one day, I just stopped caring what others thought. Yes. A better me.

“Gossip is the Devil's radio” - George Harrison

Another example is when my marriage failed. I heard I abandoned my family, had a girl shacked up on the side, and what sounded like a harem. Mostly from people from my old church. Gossip flows freely when a life event happens. Why couldn’t it just be as simple as when two people split up, one leaves? It’s not as much fun to say.

“Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a Gossip” - Richard Steele

Know that when you go from partnered to single. You will be the subject of gossip. Everyone has rumor ladened toxic people in their orbit. Some have gossiped so much and so long, they don’t realize they are even doing it anymore. How sad is that? I wanted to share my stories because it’s what I have gone through personally. So, i know it to be true. I’ve received calls from women in tears because of gossip. I will never understand why this happens. It is rampant. This is one reason when I meet with someone, no one knows it unless I have that person’s permission to speak of the meeting. It’s a better way to do life. It hurts fewer people too.

“Gossip is a very dangerous tool. We should be more wary of the gossiper, and not the gossip they're trying to relay to you. 'Don't say I've told you, but...' When you hear that line, walk away from that person” - John Lydon

Telling someone to not pay attention to what is said about them doesn’t help. I’ve found that simply listening and trying to be a distraction is the best I can do. Maybe take them exploring with me or something. Being single opens our hearts to so many ways of being hurt. Pain can come in low doses or large ones. I believe the worst pain comes in ways that should have never happened. Gossip certainly qualifies. I write this to prepare the newbie, and maybe soothe the hurt that words can cause. Especially those of a “friend”.

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best” - Epictetus

Keep the best. Purge the rest. You don’t need faux friends. No one does.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works