Diagnosis, Aftermath & Zealots

By: Kenneth Stepp

As a member of Over Thinkers Anonymous, OTA, I find all things in life interesting. Good things and bad things. All simply fascinate me. Being diagnosed with something as dire as I just was has brought out the best and the worst in people. I’m humbled by some. Incensed by others. Why do some feel so much heart felt compassion for someone, while others use it as a God’s wrath story?

My article titled, “Unforgettable Memories”, Is about my day in the emergency room, learning I have a very fast growing brain tumor that may take my life. This may seem like an odd thing to post. But I have promised myself I would not run from any part of my life while writing. This is usually easy. This one was not.

Responses to my diagnosis have been all over the map. Comments on my posts were more tame than the messages. I had well wishers come from 4 countries. They were awesome. Many were even helpful with info on studies and methods. A few were just ugly. One woman wanted me to understand that this was God’s vengeance for not believing what she believes about God. She gleefully told me that I would be burning in hell soon. Wow. I do feel the love. My response…. If you ever wondered WWJD. Not what you are doing. Then, “You mock God & pay”. I did what I should have done earlier. I blocked her. No room for that much hate in my life right now.

“Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I am comforted by those willing to respect the road I have been sat in. I must make some very difficult decisions. Me. No one else. Taking advice from someone who is immune from the consequences of that advice. I am making decisions that are life changing for me. No one else must deal with what happens but me. I know that many of these people simply care about me and want what they see is best for me. At the end of the day. It’s totally on me. For that reason. I am building walls until I decide on the few things I must.

My absolute favorite quote in the world was by Mother Theresa. “You can’t love them, if you judge them”. This quote changed my life. I’m not saying I win it every time. But I win it a lot.  Since jumping headfirst into this non judgmentalism journey. My friends have changed. I have more Muslim, Atheist, and gay friends than ever. many others as well. My ability to care about complete strangers has changed. I find everyone so interesting too.  I now see two things. What I was missing and the damage I did as a strict fundamentalist. It is humbling.

“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself”

― Earl Nightingale

Tomorrow is a brand new day. I will wake and embrace it. In the end, I will make decisions for me and me alone. We all will. Make them for you alone. Respect the way others do it too. Honoring our fellow man by respecting who and what they are is a wonderful goal.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works