Patch Weekend Movie Guide: What to See and What to Skip

We're boiling down the box-office offerings and spelling out the cant-miss hits, the undiscovered gems, and the flops that are best reserved for home viewing — or no viewing at all. So, enough chatter, let’s get to the goods.

Opening This Weekend

"The Accountant"

Ben Affleck stars as an accountant savant-come-assassin in this thriller directed by Gavin O’Connor, whose previous mixed martial arts film "Warrior" remains a truly underrated gem. "Accountant" promises violent thrills and an interesting star pairing in Affleck and Anna Kendrick, yet early word remains unflattering and at a 128-minute running time, the film may overstay its welcome.

The verdict: Critics are torn and so am I, so flip a coin on this one, folks.

"Kevin Hart: What Now?"

The feature-length stand-up comedy special seems to be a dying breed, so it’s encouraging to see a comedian at a career high going all-in with a wide release special. Fans of Hart won’t need any convincing to turn out, and healthy box-office returns should be expected. Hart is surfing a string of critical and commercial film successes, so one can expect a dedicated effort from him with his new material.

The verdict: Everything plays funnier in the company of others, so if you’ve any interest in this one, make sure to grab a group of friends, and catch it on the big screen.

Still Playing

"Deepwater Horizon"

Director Peter Berg and star Mark Wahlberg previously hit the mark with the surprisingly affecting "Lone Survivor," the 2013 adaptation of Navy Seal Marcus Luttrell’s book of the same name. From "Horizon," expect quiet heroism and large-scale disaster effects, but truth-seekers in search of a comprehensive depiction of the 2011 Gulf disaster and its aftermath should temper expectations.

The verdict: By now, we know biopics and true-to-life tales should mostly be taken with a grain of salt, but Berg is at the top of his directing game, and Wahlberg remains a reliable box-office draw. I consider this a go.

"The Girl on The Train"

From the trailer, echoes of the excellent "Gone Girl" are hard to dismiss and the film has neither the sure-handed direction of "Gone"’s David Fincher nor the stunning cinematography. "Girl on the Train," though, may have a secret weapon in the charismatic Emily Blunt, who has proven time and again she can carry a film (see: "Edge of Tomorrow"). Luckily, she’s in the company of a strong cast and works from source material of the breakout novel by Paula Hawkins.

The verdict: Consider me cautiously optimistic, but frankly this may be better served as a rental. Or grab the book instead.

One Liners

"Snowden"

Objectivity is not one of director Oliver Stone’s strong suits, so if you head to this biopic of controversial apostate Edward Snowden, do so for the cast that looks fantastic on paper: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Melissa Leo, Rhys Ifans, Shailene Woodley, Tom Wilkinson, Nicholas Cage, et. al.

"The Magnificent Seven"

A western remake of a western remake ("Seven Samurai" yielded the original "Magnificent Seven"), this generational update starring Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke is heavy on deftly staged action but lacks the depth of its predecessors.

"Storks"

With limited fare for the young’uns until the upcoming holiday season, check out this animated romp that pairs voice actors Kelsey Grammar and Andy Samberg produced by hit-or-miss Warner Brothers Animation — they recently did The Lego Movie, though, which is the reason I say give Storks a shot.

Until next week, save me a seat folks!

Watch the trailer for The Accountant

Watch the trailer for Kevin Hart: What Now?

A note: I may not have seen all films listed in this column, but I keep my finger steadily on the pulse of coming attractions so take comfort knowing if I haven’t yet seen it, recommendations will be studied.