Local Voices: Unwed Pregnancy Roulette

I've had an epiphany: Let's get as many teenagers in one place as the Fire Marshal will allow, then dim the lights and put on some loud music.

We'll call it "Unwed Pregnancy Roulette" or perhaps "."  It'll be fantastic!  A teenager can get pregnant just walking by that place - ask  - I bet he'll back me up. 

As Steve pointed out - WSB-TV news ran an undercover story on "Club Saturn" (now apparently defunct). One undercover producer said, "I did not expect to see girls half naked walking around with just their bras on. That is something I would expect to see in a strip club not a teen club."

I'm curious - how did the Sandy Springs' short-lived teen nightclub scene compare to an undercover producer's average strip club experience?  I'm guessing they cut him off right before he said "...and this place is awesome."  The wolf is officially loose in the sheep pen. 

WSB reports the club owner claimed to make every possible effort to create a nice, safe place for kids while simultaneously failing to mention that the club's facebook page posts pictures from the parties with the words "indecent exposure" beneath. Disparity? You be the judge.   

The owner went on to tell Channel 2 he has a zero-tolerance policy for alcohol and was surprised to hear teens were sneaking it in.  

Heh! Ok buddy. For future reference: kids that smell like alcohol are sneaking alcohol into your club - in their stomachs. There is a connection.

Maybe instead of "I have a zero-tolerance policy for alcohol and I'm surprised to hear teens are sneaking it in." He meant, "I have a low alcohol tolerance....so I give the rest to the kids when I'm hammered." Hard to say. 

Either way, thanks to this guy your teenagers have one more dimly-lit chance to impregnate each other. It's all very exciting; and the best part is: an adult came up with it.

Back in the day Sandy Springs had "Qzar," (I heard it was like lazertag. I was never allowed to go, but we passed it on the way to the library) a mall, a movie theater, a very small arcade, and May through August - the neighborhood pool.

Those were your big chances to get beat up, smoke the cigarettes you stole from your Grandma, and otherwise get in trouble. 

Then came technology - out went the arcade and movie theater. The pool gives you a tan, which gives you cancer. Gas is $4 a gallon. And now nobody wants to leave the house. 

Times have changed.

Can your high school kids get pregnant in the privacy of your own home? Sure, but the music is too loud - it's much better to send them out for that.

Enter: Teen Nightclub. 

What's next, Sandy Springs? like those Dunwoody ruffians?  

Say it ain't so.