Moms Talk: Extra Expensive Birthday Parties, or Not

A few weeks ago we hosted a birthday party for my son, who is now five years old. Just typing that makes me feel like I need to hunt down a brown paper bag to breathe in.

Until this point, we’ve always had Jack’s parties at my mom’s house in Alabama. That way, the extended family can attend without having to drive “through the big city” to attend a party at our house. They’ve always been small cake and ice cream affairs on my mom’s screened back porch. This year, however, Jack dropped the same bombshell his big sister dropped on us at this age.

He wanted a big party with friends.

That’s fair. He’s been attending his pre-teen sister’s celebrations for a few years now, and he’s at a point in his young life where he actually has and maintains friendships of his own. We said yes, and because our house isn’t really big enough for lots of guests, I started searching for a venue.

Holy Cow!

Have you seen the prices at these places? Bowling alleys, doll boutiques, jump houses, farms, pottery studios, arcades, stuffed animal stores, swimming pools… they all offer parties, and they’re all really expensive.  I saw party packages listed at nearly $900! Are there really parents out there who are dropping a grand on a kid’s birthday party? Aside from celebrities and captains of industry, I mean?

Yep. They are. I read an article on Money Central recently that told the story of Karin Urban, a  stay-at-home mom from California who spent $10,000 on a princess party for her three-year-old daughter. Seriously?

Maybe it’s the way I was raised. Or maybe as a child I read too many books with idyllic scenes of families gathered around the farmhouse table while the birthday child grins over a candlelit, lopsided chocolate cake. But it seems to me this whole birthday party thing is getting out of hand lately.

Whatever happened to pin-the-tail on the donkey? Now they’re hiring farms to set up a miniature donkey carousel on the front lawn.

MTV has a show called My Super Sweet Sixteen, where privileged teenagers have over-the-top 16^th birthday fêtes that include thousand dollar cakes, personal stylists, celebrity performers and luxury cars presented as gifts. This sets a ridiculously high standard for those of us who are not millionaires, and I’ve read stories about parents who have put themselves in serious debt trying to please their child with a lavish birthday party.

It seems to me that those parties are just another way to keep up with the Joneses, and I wonder what lesson kids are learning from parents who fork over huge amounts of money to make a certain impression on others.

Karin Urbin, the mom behind the $10,000 party for a preschooler, admits the parties she throws for her daughter are a point of pride for her. She said in the interview that she takes great pleasure in hearing that other parents will clear their schedules to attend her events.

"I don't want to let people down," she said. "I want them to get that 'Wow!' sensation every time when they walk in."

Sounds like she’s taking what should be a special day for her child and turning it into an opportunity to impress her peers. That makes me sad.

In case you were wondering, we settled on a bare bones package at a local jump house for Jack’s party. It wasn’t fancy, but it was fun. I made monkey cupcakes and brought simple decorations and goody bags.

He didn’t get a Maserati for the kindergarten carpool line, and there were no special appearances by famous musicians or exotic, trained animals, but Jack loved it-- and I won’t have to be medicated when I get my credit card statement this month.

So this week, let’s discuss over-the-top parties for kids. What’s your take on extravagant birthday parties for children? How does your family celebrate birthdays?

Please share in the comment section.