How is a Kol Hadash B Mitzvah Different from All Other B Mitzvah

At first glance, Ben Polonsky’s Bar Mitzvah—the 100thB Mitzvah [a newer gender-neutral term] at Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation-—looked like many others. A proud 13-year-old boy, standing on a podium, dressed in a suit, reading from the Torah. Look closer. No skull cap (kippah) or prayer shawl (tallis).

Instead of reading the prescribed Torah portion for this week “Bechukotai” (“By My Laws” Leviticus 26:3 - 27:34), Ben chose (yes, chose!) Numbers 14: 11-23, where Moses argues with God. Rather than a message of ”follow the rules or else,” Ben discussed standing up to authority.

And what about God? If Ben believed in God, he would have advocated standing up to God, too, just as Moses did.

As Kol Hadash’s Rabbi Adam Chalom explained at the beginning of the service, “For us, to be Jewish is to be an heir to Jewish tradition, not a museum curator. To inherit means it becomes yours to chose from, adapt, and use consistent with your own values and beliefs.”

Why have a B Mitzvah

If a B Mitzvah ceremony is not traditionally religious, then why have one? “It was right for our family because we had a lot of input into the service, which made it meaningful and relevant. Ben chose his Torah portion based on values that are important to him,” said Ben’s father Dan.

Ami, Ben’s mother added, “I know families that have hired rabbis for B Mitzvahs. What they are missing is community. In his speech, he thanked the congregation for being such a kind and accepting community. We are very lucky to have found like-minded people who believe in raising their kids the same way we do.”

Leah Sosewitz, the B Mitzvah coordinator at Kol Hadash, believes that a cultural B Mitzvah at Kol Hadash is the answer for many intermarried families. “We offer a message of genuine inclusion. Services, music and blessings are mostly in English and human-focused, sensitive to a diverse audience, enabling all family members, of all ethnic and religious backgrounds to equally and meaningfully participate.”

It’s all about the student

At the end of the day, what makes a Kol Hadash B Mitzvah different is that it is all about the student. Students choose a Torah portion or other topic that inspires them, and they explore their topic in a personal and meaningful way.

Gertie Harris of Winnetkaresearched Dr. Ho, a man who saved many Jewish lives by helping them get out of Austria in the 1930s. “Dr. Ho’s work is a great example of the values of Humanistic Judaism. We believe that people are responsible for making the world better, and we don’t wait for something else or someone else to do it for us. We believe that it’s important to be part of your own group, but also to care about all people and help them – and that’s what he did,” said Gertie in her B Mitzvah presentation.

Service projects tie-in to the topic

Alex Ratnaswamy’s topic was American Jewish humor. (He chose to learn Yiddish so he could read his Jewish language reading in its original language.) When Alec learned about the healing powers of humor, he volunteered at the Humor Cart at Lutheran General Hospital to help children heal by laughing.

Gertie volunteered for a local food bank because “this food depository helps anyone, no matter who they are or where they are from, just as Dr. Ho helped people he had no connections to,” she explained.

“The B Mitzvah is essentially a Jewish ‘coming of age’ ceremony, like you see in many cultures,” said Rabbi Chalom. “If we want to welcome a child into our adult community, then it just makes sense to encourage them to find something in their Jewish heritage, from the wide sweep of the Jewish experience, that interests and inspires them. That way, their Jewishness becomes their own.”

Founded in 2001, Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation is the largest Secular and/or Humanistic Jewish community in Illinois. It is a full-service congregation with weekly Sunday School for K-10th grade, regular celebrations of Shabbat and major Jewish holidays, pastoral support, social events adult education and community service opportunities. It is part of the national Society for Humanistic Judaism, which includes over 25 communities across North America. For more information on Kol Hadash, visit www.kolhadash.comor email info@kolhadash.com.

Find out more about a Humanistic B Mitzvah at the FAQ Thursday, 7:30 pm, August 29, 2019

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