Uncontested Divorce?

Collaborative
Divorce Professionals Help Families Navigate Painful Process

By
Kathryn Engel

Their 18-year marriage was ending, that much was sure. 

Much less clear was how Sue and Jim (not their real names) would navigate the
divorce or what impact the split would have on their three children.

Seeking to salvage communication for their children’s sake, Sue sought out the
collaborative process.  Meanwhile, Jim fought the idea of divorce in a
passive-aggressive manner. He missed deadlines, cancelled meetings and stalled
the process as long as he could. 

Sue had very little tolerance for this behavior. Meetings and conversations were
difficult.  The fact that Jim worked for Sue’s parents, in the family
business, made collaboration even more critical.

With attorneys representing both parties, a collaborative divorce team also often
includes a divorce coach, a financial specialist and a child specialist. At
each meeting with Sue and Jim, this group of professionals secured a renewed
pledge that each was committed to working honestly and with integrity.

The couple managed to resolve their issues and move on, but it was not without a
great deal of concerted effort from these professionals. There was continual
emotional conflict, along with mounting acrimony and negativity that, if not
handled properly, could have easily catapulted their case into litigation.

Collaborative Divorce professionals are committed to conflict management and creative resolution, adopting a mindset and implementing a skill set altogether
different than those employed by traditional divorce attorneys.

The process of Collaborative Divorce is an art that requires talent honed by
extensive training.

While it’s easy for any attorney to say he or she works in “collaborative” fashion,
those seeking this better path to divorce should know that a Collaborative
Fellow is required to have at least 40 hours of mediation training as well as
ongoing technique training.

For example, on Oct. 18, the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals held a four-day annual Networking and Educational Forum in Chicago.

It was the largest, most comprehensive interdisciplinary conference
in the field of Collaborative Practice, whose roots date back only to the
1980s.

In the midst of a world that seems to be growing increasingly
contentious, the gathering brings together top practitioners from across the
globe who are committed to serving all of the Sues, Jims—and their children—who
are going through one of the most difficult stages that can occur in any
family’s life.

Kathryn Engel, who has a law office in Hinsdale and Park Ridge, serves on the
Board of Directors for the Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois, online at www.collablawil.org. She can be reached at kengel@kengellaw.com.