A 10 Minute Breather

I have never been very good at prayer.  With candid honesty, I admit, I really stink at it.  That stereotypical child reverently kneeling at the side of the bed, her eyes closed to a squint listing earnest requests to God has never, ever been me.

Prayer (noun) prer  1.  Address to God; a spoken or unspoken address to God, a deity, or a saint.  It may express praise, thanksgiving, confession, or a request for something such as help or somebody’s well-being.  2.  Addressing of God; the act or practice of making spoken or unspoken address to God, a deity, or a saint.  3. Something wished for; something that is wanted or hoped for very much.

I love God.  I believe that I am loved by God in return and that I have been knitted in love, treasured and wonderfully made. It’s not that I don’t want to pray like a saint or that I haven’t tried like a sinner.  It is the whole means of the prayer communication process that keeps me at bay.  I have a deep reverence for God and the incredible power, peace and sureness in having a relationship with The Divine.  God provides all the time.  I know this.  I’ve lived it and I continue to live that provision every day.  And while I express gratitude several times a day it’s just not on my knees or with my hands clasped and resting on the pew in front of me.  This is the most unnatural way I can think of talking with God about my greatest hopes, confiding in God my deepest fears or even verbally high-fiving and crying tears of elation with my Lord.

While I have known for years that God hears me before I even speak, I’ve had to examine how it is I address God.   What I wanted and needed was to experience God in prayer the same way I experienced God in everything else I do; in a meaningful and purposeful way that was as natural as breathing.   For as long as I can remember, I have actively sought God out.  Even as a small child I would have conversation with God and hear a response.  I just assumed God was always around and Love constantly surrounded me.  Perhaps my life long conversational relationship with God is why praying in a traditional way seems so foreign.  This typical prayer life that my religion advocates feels as sincere and personal as filling out a work order and waiting for it to be processed.  But somehow I still felt like this type of prayer was something I should be doing.

Several years ago I read a book by James Finley called “Christian Meditation: Experiencing the Presence of God”.  Finley describes in detail what the Trappist Monks have called contemplative prayers for years.  Once I read about contemplative prayer and meditation, both Christian and Buddhist, I immediately knew this was something I was going to connect to.

Simply put, meditation is sitting in God’s presence without saying a word.  It is the act of sitting next to someone you love and knowing that love is returned.  Words are not necessary, only breath.   Each inhale brings in God’s love and each exhale removes the unnecessary obstacles that keep me from it.

For the last five years or so I do this every morning for about 20 minutes.  I just sit and recognize God’s presence.  Some mornings the noise in my head will make it very challenging.  It can be hard to silence the mental to do lists and day dreaming that I’m so naturally inclined to.  On the rare occasions when something happens that mixes up my routine and I miss that time, I sense its loss throughout the day.  However, because I’ve made it a good habit, it’s easy to come back to either later in the day or the next morning.

This morning was one of those lost routine mornings.  I overslept and had a crazy day at work that was going to require me to come in an hour earlier than usual.  I ran into road construction that delayed me even more so I hit the office door running behind, stressed out and didn’t sit down for the first 90 minutes of my work day.  Finally, at some point I sat at my desk and with everyone else in meetings, I knew I was alone and could be undisturbed for about 10 minutes.  So I set I timer, closed my eyes and met with God.   It was 10 minutes of refreshment.  It calmed me, reminded me of who is really in charge and let me let go.

To me, this is prayer.  It’s in that 10 to 20 minute time span that I just sit and let God read my heart.  The words, the list, the litany and the formalities are gone.  This is how I address God.  This is, without question, how God communicates to me.

I guess when you boil it down to the basics, prayer is just as the definition explains; it’s addressing God.  And it order to do so, you need to communicate in such a way that when you walk throughout the rest of the day you can think fondly back to that conversation with God and be just as refreshed as if you were having that interaction all over again.  For some people, that might be kneeling at the side of the bed.  However, for me, it is just sitting in silence.

You can read more of Beth's blog on www.theroadtofaith.com or follow her on facebook at www.facebook.com/theroadtofaith