Doctor Patient Relationships

Doctor Patient Relationships

Since becoming an advocate for Epilepsy another topic that seems to be continually brought up is that of Doctor Patient Relationships. It seems to be a topic that gets a lot of, well for lack of a better word, criticism. I hear things such as: 

1. They never listen to me
2. They think I am the crazy Mother (or Father)
3. They think they are God, or know it all
4. They have no personality or bedside manner
5. They are not looking at me when I’m speaking to them

I can’t argue with some of these because of my own experiences with my physicians. I have to confess that I’m somewhat spoiled with my Father being a physician, though from the old school when patient care was not rushed like you’re at the dry cleaners… in one minute and out the next. A time when listening to a patient meant that other patients were behind in their appointments because he was taking the time to listen to what patients were telling him. A time when you could call other specialists you knew and say, I have a patient I think needs this, can I send them over.  Nowadays everything has to be scheduled days in advance and through the hospitals. I expect a lot out of my own doctors in my care or that of my own family. Gone are the days of good quality care and management with the changes in our healthcare system and insurances.

As an advocate, I have hope.  Why?  Because I have been fortunate to work with and find some of the best ones in my local area to help with the Epilepsy Warriors.  It has and does give me renewed faith that there are still doctors out there that genuinely put the patient first, whether child or adult.  As parents of a child with Epilepsy or special needs, quality care and management is not only important for us and to us, but it is a must. The overwhelming news of your child’s or a family member’s diagnosis rocks your very core and there is so much to take in; what’s needed is the compassion, care and concern of the one you’re trusting to your child or family’s care.

A recent article I stumbled across said “Successful doctor-patient relationships require honesty” … mutual trust and respect. If the patient is uncomfortable with his physician’s demeanor, how can the patient be expected to disclose private, and sometimes embarrassing, information? A patient’s refusal to tell the whole story could have grave consequences including a misdiagnosis, missed diagnosis, or improper treatment. While it is ultimately up to the patient to be honest, the physician can create an environment that is conducive to disclosure rather than a setting that encourages lies. The effect of withholding the information is detrimental to both doctors and patients.

Like in any profession, there are good and bad experiences; so when something is not working you see what you can do to fix it.  Doctors are not Gods, they are human like the rest of us some are very deeply affected by not being able to “fix it”. The more we stop, listen and work together share information and be willing to try, the more we can better the relationships.  Remember it does not have to be complicated if we both give and take a little it could end up being the best relationship we could give our children.