How Authentic are you...Really?

Hi Everyone!

I hope your summer is wrapping up well. The Master Gardener and I are gathering the vegetables and herbs from our garden and trying to get a jump on preparing the soil for the winter. My herbs are drying, he is been busy canning. So, between our garden and the Farm in Naperville we’ve had a boatload of fresh vegetables and herbs!!!!

It’s during this time, late August/ early September, that I take a look at how my summer went. What did I accomplish (or not) and how did my plans work out, or not work out. I look to see if I’ve made some new friends, lost any friends and what my relationships look like. I do this now because after September we run full force into the Holiday Season and to me it’s almost impossible to evaluate/re-evaluate from October until the end of the year.

One of the biggest areas I look at is how authentic I am/was. Was I Me? And did I present myself to my friends, family, students and people I met in an open and honest way. Was I AUTHENTIC or was I being someone else?

I think these are fair and valid questions that everyone should take the time to ask themselves. Who are you at work? And who are you at home? Are those two different personalities or not? Do you apply the same values at work that you do at home? Should you?

Back B.H. (before Hana) and even B.L. (before Lad), I can say I wasn’t terribly concerned with my authenticity. I’ve rarely met a person in their late teens/early twenties who is. However, as I’ve gotten older have become more aware of “being me”. I have realized that in trying my best to “be me” certain things might happen.

For one, not everyone likes me. Back B.H. /B.L that would have driven me to distraction. Now? Not so much. Most of the time if I sense someone just doesn’t like me, I shrug and say “Oh well. Their loss”! Sometimes, I will admit, when I get a feeling someone doesn’t like me I get a crappy feeling in my stomach. But most of the time it’s “Oh well”.

Another, I find it very difficult to be me with difficult people. This summer I had dealings with a couple extremely difficult people. People who run right over other people’s feeling and words…my Mom would probably call them “Steamrollers”…steamroll right over you. Those kinds of people just irritate the heck out of me. I find it VERY hard to deal with people like that. So, being authentic with those people, to me, is HARD.

Another, we have grown up in a world where people were not encouraged to be authentic. Where we all grew up with a basic sense of what’s right and what’s wrong, we weren’t told that how and what WE decide is right or wrong would shape us for the rest of our lives. I wrote a piece on April 25, 2013 about Doing the “Right” Thing. I highly encourage you to check that out. What I find with people is the struggle to do the right thing seems to be so hard for some. That is something I cannot understand. Yes, I know-there are always “gray” areas. I get it. But when it comes down to what is right and what is wrong…you always know what you SHOULD choose. But do you always do it? General H. Norman Schwarzkopf said “The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it”. True words.

Lastly, in trying to be authentic and trying to be “me”, I see things about myself that make wonder. I mean, I have said to myself this summer MANY times- “What the heck were you thinking????” Or “Why on Earth did that EVER come out of your mouth???”. In shifting to being more yourself and authentic, be prepared to learn some things about yourself that make you a little uncomfortable or honestly, that really just tick you off!

Fortunately, I have plenty of people around me to make me laugh at my crazy idiosyncrasies!! And most of the time I try to laugh right along with them. I will admit, sometime it’s kind of hard. I think that being authentic and being true to yourself is always the best way to go. I would much rather people like me for who I am instead of some imposter…or poser.

During the next couple weeks ask yourself if you are authentic. Ask yourself if there are certain people/situations that you are “someone else”, and then ask yourself why. If you are not being your true, authentic self with someone, I wonder if that’s a sign that maybe that relationship is not a good one. Try being authentic for a full day. What happened?

I feel better when I am authentic…when I am being me. Try it. You might like it.

Thanks for reading!!!!!! As always Stay Healthy, Eat Well and Be Happy!

And as John Green says- “Don’t forget to be awesome”!!!!!