Prom Night: Dance of the Grim Reaper

Halloween is considered the time for the Grim Reaper to rear his ugly hood. Yet in today’s world, the Grim Reaper collects most of his teenage souls on prom night.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, approximately 7 high school students in each state will die on prom night. Car accidents have been the primary cause of teenage death for some time.

Post-prom driving has produced the most fatal accidents for teens over the past several years. Yet, parents continue to allow their children to drive to far off destinations for after-prom parties.

Expectations for After-Prom Activities

Destination After-Proms first came to my attention in 2008 in my oldest daughter’s senior year. We had many discussions, arguments and battles over allowed after-prom activities. While I did not allow her to drive off with classmates to Wisconsin Dells, several of her classmates made the 3-hour trip north to a Dell’s resort.

Now, 8 years later, I am, again, faced with the same discussion, argument and battle over an after-prom activity. This time, the argument is with my youngest daughter, and peer pressure has become my mortal enemy.

Recall high school prom. We considered it the most important dance of the year. However, today’s high school students see upcoming proms as a last chance to party like rock stars. Some parents agree and plan elaborate after prom parties at places like Starved Rock.

This year, I know of parents that will go so far as to rent cabins, hand the keys to the kids and allow them to drive unescorted on I-80 and the dark roads of Utica late at night. Why? Just so these children will always remember high school prom as their “special” night.

Again, Teens and Alcohol

Adding to the dangers of late-night driving, statistics show more than half of all teenagers have four or more alcoholic drinks on prom night. Studies report 10-20% of parents believe it is safe for underage teens to attend “supervised” prom parties where alcohol is served; although, it is known that most date rapes and sexual assaults against girls are alcohol and drug-related.

In fact, a national survey by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that 39% of high school senior boys consider it acceptable to force sex on a girl who is intoxicated by alcohol or high on drugs.

So, not only does the grim reaper have the means to capture teenage souls on the road, but treachery has the opportunity to attack children who have led innocent and protected lives, at least up until prom night.

And What About Parents?

Given these statistics, why do parents feel the need to allow, even plan, Destination After-Prom parties? Why are parents renting hotel rooms and allowing children stay without a parental presence? Whatever happened to going to an after-prom party in a friend’s basement, without alcohol and a parent in the house?

Have our teens evolved to the maturity of twenty something’s in one generation? Or are parents are simply reliving childhood fantasies through their children? I tend to believe the latter.

As a parent, battles over appropriate after-prom activities have reached an all-time high in our home. My daughter’s rationale for wanting to go on this dangerous adventure is that of a 16 year-old: “my friends are doing it,” “my friends’ parents trust their kids,” “ we never get into trouble,” and “why don’t you trust me?”

My answer has remained steady, but consistent, “NO, it’s dangerous.” Yet, my “NO” does not carry much strength in this unending battle with teenager and peer pressure.

Say No to Risky Behavior!

Therefore, I am asking all parents of prom-goers to take the peer card out of play.

Just Say No to these kids who suddenly think they are more mature than they actually are.

Just Say No to the extravagant expectations of after-prom parties and the enormous risk they present.

Please strive to keep your child and my child safe at a time when they should be hoping and dreaming and planning for their futures.

And most importantly, Just Say No to the Grim Reaper and his lion’s share of souls collected on prom night.

Dr. Theresa Towle

Family Nurse Practitioner

Proud Parent of a High School Junior