Neighbor News
Building Understanding with Partners with AS
Dr. Clatch writes about how couples can build understanding when one is neurotypical and the other has Asperger's Syndrome.
Regardless of whether a marriage occurs between two people with AS or an AS and NT, the reality is that both members of the couple need to be build a foundation for understanding. Clearly, this will be more challenging for NT/AS couples as NT partners will need to learn about how their partner views the world. Partners with AS will also need to work on understanding how their partner views the world in order to ensure that their partner’s needs are met. Promoting understanding in the relationship can help the couple recognize when important supports are needed and when each person may require some “alone time.”
Understanding also requires partners to recognize that there are certain aspects of their marriage that may not be as fulfilling. For instance, most neurotypical women want their husbands to respond to their feelings. Partners with AS may not be adept at picking up on social cues indicative of a spouse’s mood. As such, the NT partner may find this aspect of the relationship frustrating. By promoting an environment of understanding, partners can recognize their limitations and the limitations of their spouses. This can go a long way toward reducing frustration and improving the marriage.
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