Neighbor News
Helping Children Overcome Fear and Worry
Dr. Clatch writes about how parents can help ease their preschoolers' worry when they start to fear "the unknown".
Between the ages of three and five, children’s creative imaginations flourish. This can show up in many positive ways, from developing new social skills to becoming fascinated with a new interest or activity. However, this creative boom can also come with profound fears and worries, particularly involving “the unknown”. A nightly bubble bath that may have once delighted your three year old now hides dark, unseeable depths at age four. The Easter Bunny or Santa are magical - but if they get too close, they may suddenly seem intimidating or even scary. So what’s a parent to do when they see their child overcome by new fears? Here are some tips to get started:
- Recognize The Child’s Fears: Preschoolers still have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality, and are very impressionable. A bedtime story about dragons might inspire a fear of dragons hiding in the dark once the light is turned out. Develop a ritual of investigation: ask your child to help you check under the bed for monsters, or investigate sudden, startling noises to find their source. Eventually, the child will learn that many mysterious things can be explained, which makes them less scary.
- Take It Step By Step: If a child is suddenly terrified of the Easter Bunny, let them observe him from afar before moving in closer. Do not avoid the “triggers” - rather, let the child assess at the situation first before jumping in. Talking about the situation before it happens can also help alleviate worry, particularly if the child is sensitive to sudden sounds, like the turning on of a vacuum.
- Focus On Fun: Worry is easily combatted through laughter and wonderment. For instance, if the child is afraid of the dark, parents can try reading stories by flashlight. Bathtime fears can be eased by dissolving a couple of B1 vitamins into the water and turning on a blacklight so the water glows.
- Help Them Relax: Believe it or not, 4-year-olds are patient enough to learn breathing techniques. Teaching them how to center themselves when they are anxious will help them to develop necessary coping skills for when they are away from their parents.
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