Respecting the Choices of Adult Children

As adults, children have the right to explore their worlds, determine what is right for them, make mistakes and learn from these mistakes. As adult children follow through these processes, parents must respect their children’s decisions and recognize that their adult children have the right to determine and direct the course of their own lives.

Although this advice can be presented in a logical and rational manner, the emotions involved in parents letting go of their children can be quite intense. Parents, because of their natural desire to protect their children, want to spare them from harm and provide them with the benefit of their wisdom. As such, even when parents see their adult children making a mistake, their first response is to intervene and to stop the mistake from happening.

Emotions involved in this process will typically drive behavior, and in the end, action from parents may result in a broader set of problems and more conflict. Even when parents have the best intentions, the outcomes may not reflect these intentions. Adult children will make their own decisions because that is what adults do, but they will be much more likely to listen to parental concerns if their parents refrain from casting judgement.

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