A Psychiatrist Dad's Perspective on Donald Trump as President

My wife and I aren’t perfect parents or people and don’t expect others to be, including our sons. We do hope, however, that our boys will become the kind of men who will be a source of pride for themselves and others. And we hope that other important role models such as teachers, physicians, policemen, and our President, for example, will behave in ways that demonstrate some of the values we’re trying to impart. In our opinion, however, Donald Trump isn’t an appropriate role model for our children.

Mr. Trump portrays an aggressiveness that I typically see in people who are compensating for an insecure and powerless self-image. He appears to view the world as being in one of two camps: those who support him and are viewed as “good” or “great” versus those who don’t support him and are disparaged. His name-calling and bullying are behaviors that most loving parents would discourage in their children. In fact, if we viewed Mr. Trump as a third grader I expect that he’d spend a great deal of time in the Principal’s office and end up with a formal evaluation of his conduct. Getting older should mean greater behavioral control. For a President that’s imperative.

However, Mr. Trump shows little behavioral discipline. He becomes enraged when anyone questions him. Inevitably, he attacks (even, at times, mocking others and working his supporters into a frenzy). He makes sweeping generalizations, grouping religions and cultures on the basis of the behavior of the few. This concerns us as parents enormously. We want our President to avoid, as many despots have demonstrated throughout history, using fear as a manipulation, scapegoating entire religions or cultures and promising greatness while building walls and victimizing the vulnerable.

Also, we want our boys to love and respect their Mother and segue that relationship into respect for other women. Trump’s denigrating language and objectifying of women, despite his daughter’s claims to the contrary, indicate a basic dislike of them. If you’re a women reading this can you imagine having a disagreement with Mr. Trump, were he your husband? How would you feel in the aftermath of such an interaction? Would you feel heard and supported? Would you see him looking within himself to determine anything he might have contributed to a problem? Would you walk away from that discussion telling yourself “I’m glad we had that talk”?

I want the President of our Country to be a diplomat, a statesman who chooses his or her words carefully and wisely. Who acts with patience rather than impulsivity. Who has a basic respect for those who both agree and disagree with him/her. Who is contemplative. Who has an inner strength of resolve without bluster, braggadocio, ridicule and attack (to “Speak softly and carry a big stick,” said Teddy Roosevelt). I don’t want any of our sons saying “Well, the President said or did that, Mom and Dad, so it’s okay” if what the President is modeling is angry, mocking and vengeful and encourages the world to be a more hateful place. Why would any reasonable parent find this acceptable?

Finally, there are those who support Mr. Trump allegedly because he’s a non-politician who “tells it like it is.” My interpretation is entirely different. I believe Mr. Trump is the ultimate huckster. He doesn’t tell it like it is. He tells it the way he can sell it. He lets you know what’s wrong with every other brand and then how wonderful you’ll feel using his. And he knows his customers well.

No, I might want Mr. Trump to sell a product I’ve created, but I see him as a frightening Presidential candidate, not a role model I want for children.