Clinical expert: Adolescent anxiety at "epidemic" levels

Today’s children are suffering from anxiety and depression in record numbers.

“It’s an epidemic,” author and licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Michael Bradley told a large group of parents at a Wednesday night Community Speakers Series gathering at the Hinsdale Community House. “We’ve seen a falling apart of our youth in many ways so we need to help equip you with tools to help your kids deal with this.”

Citing statistics that show adolescent anxiety, depression and negative behaviors have more than quadrupled in recent decades, while child suicides have grown roughly 500 percent, Dr. Bradley blames excessive academic loads, extracurricular demands, sleep deprivation and modern technology.

“Your kids are withdrawing from life into their screens. They’re unable to sustain relationships,” he said. “They feel less control over the outcome of their lives…and they’re much less self-reliant. We protect them too much. Having them win in everything they do is a disaster.”

The good news, Dr. Bradley pointed out, proven strategies exist to help children develop resilience.

“Resilience is the magic quality that has been disappearing from our children,” he said. “Children have to experience some degree of trauma to be resilient. Stress in the proper dose strengthens them. You can’t wrap kids in bubble wrap.”

Dr. Bradley offered his “Ten Commandments of Parenting” to attendees:

1. Thou shalt be as the dispassionate cop unto thine own child. All kids are nuts to some extent. Don’t take it personally. Stay calm. Show love and strength.

2. Thou shalt listen even as thine own child shouts. Kids often say too little and shout too much. Wait it out without interrupting or screaming back.

3. Thou shalt not shout; speak thou wisely. Screaming at a child is like putting out small fires with gasoline.

4. Thou shalt add 5 minutes to every interaction involving thy kid. Teach your kid to control herself. Look for ways to hand off decision-making power to your child.

5. Thou shalt remain loving and connected…even while being “hated” and avoided. Find ways of lovingly connecting with your kids each day.

6. Thou shalt not kill (thou mayest entertain thoughts of killing, but…) No hitting. Ever. Whacking a child is like whacking a stick of dynamite. It might not explode right away but when it does, it will demolish everything nearby.

7. Thou shalt apologize at every opportunity. Adult apology is strength, not weakness.

8. Thou shalt honor thy child’s identity (even though it maketh you ill). Pick your battles wisely and save your ammo for life-threatening exploration (like drugs).

9. To thine own self be true. Be a parent first, not a friend. Hold onto your values calmly but firmly.

10. Know thou, this too shall pass. Bad chapters all end and mostly everyone survives just fine.

Dr. Bradley is the author of five award-winning bestsellers including Yes Your Teen Is Crazy—Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind, Yes, Your Parents are Crazy—A Teen Survival Guide and Crazy-Stressed—Saving Today’s Overwhelmed Teens with Love, Laughter and the Science of Resilience.

The Community Speakers Series is sponsored by School Districts 86 and 181with support from the District 181 Foundation, The Community House, the Hinsdale Central PTO, Hinsdale South Boosters and the Burr Ridge Marriott.

Dr. Michael Thompson will speak May 1 and 2 on “The Nature of Boys” at the next event in the series.