Should Your Loved One Be Seeing the Doctor Alone?

After weeks of hinting and pleading, you have finally convinced Dad to see a doctor. But when you ask him about the appointment, he remembers little about what the doctor told him.

This is a good sign that it’s time to start accompanying him to future appointments.

It’s a good idea for all of us, no matter our age, to have a third party accompany us to important medical appointments. But it is especially important for seniors to bring an extra set of ears to the doctor’s office. Hearing problems and memory issues can interfere with a senior’s ability to collect, understand and retain important information. Add to that the apprehension, nervousness and even embarrassment that comes with a doctor’s visit, and it isn’t hard to understand your loved one’s distraction.

Many older adults also tend to downplay their complaints, as well as the doctor’s diagnosis. Whether this is a matter of denial, a means of protecting loved ones from bad news, or a simple desire to retain privacy, it becomes important for loved ones to know the real story about an aging loved one’s health.

Following are some helpful tips for establishing yourself as part of your aging loved one’s healthcare team.

Before the appointment:

· Assure your loved one that you’re not being nosy. You simply want to help them gather and retain information about their health.

· Agree to leave the room during potentially embarrassing physical exams.

· Discuss a list of questions to ask the doctor. Write the questions down and take the list to the appointment.

· Your loved one must sign a form allowing you access to his or her medical information. Arrive at the doctor’s office a few minutes early to get the right paperwork on file.

During the appointment:

· Listen and take notes.

· Ask your loved one’s permission before interjecting, but don’t be afraid to ask questions or raise concerns.

· Observe the relationship between patient and physician. Does the doctor treat your loved one with respect? Does she take time to listen?

After the appointment:

· Mark any future appointments on your loved one’s calendar.

· Sit with your loved one and discuss the notes taken during the doctor’s visit.

· If the doctor suggested changes in diet, post a reminder on the refrigerator door.

· Keep a running list of questions and concerns that arise between doctor appointments.

· Keep notes and records in one place, where you and other family members can find them in an emergency.

Not all families have the luxury of living close enough to escort a loved one to the doctor. In those cases, Home Helpers is the next best thing. Our trained, compassionate caregivers can provide transportation to appointments, fill prescriptions and return your loved one safely to their home.

If more help is needed, Home Helpers’ on-staff registered nurse can accompany seniors to their appointments, offer help and guidance in managing appointments and prescriptions, and report resulting health information to family who cannot be there themeselves.

Mary Doepke, RN, is president and co-owner of Home Helpers of Hinsdale, A+-Rated providers of in-home care and assistance to elders and others in western Cook and eastern DuPage counties. (630) 323-7231; HomeHelpers1@comcast.net.