Father, forgive them, for "they know not what they do."

The other day I was talking to a neighbor who is a member of the Libertyville Centre club. She seemed surprised when I informed her of the details of my expulsion from the club; it is only lately that I have become more specific about what these people said and did – rather than just indicating that an instructor and management at the club terribly wronged me through dishonesty and outrageously inappropriate, cruel consequence, even if there was some truth to their dishonest and/or delusional assertions (which, of course, there was not).

My neighbor said something that struck to the core of one thing that I have most certainly continuously struggled with about the whole incident. After being told that either the instructor or management made up a patent lie that I gave this instructor letters about pubic hair and was threatening to or threatened her, my neighbor commented: “they know what they did – they know that they did wrong.”

Oddly, as with a prisoner’s dilemma, paradoxical psychology and/or the infamous double-bind, given what they have done since (nothing), I’m not really sure that I would want her to be right.

The way I figure it, people make mistakes and do bad things – it’s a part of being human. I do not typically view persons who commit bad acts from faulty reasoning, sickness or even short-sighted temporary or even persistent malevolence as bad or terrible people – Jesus a true liberal of his time, reportedly uttered forgiveness for those who did not know – who were blind to the corruptness of their actions.

What if my neighbor is right? What does it mean if they do know? They know they were wrong and unjustly wronged me, but still - there is no admission of this wrong; there is no contrition for this wrong; there is no apology; there is no effort towards remedy or reparation – only continued silence and/or denial (at least to me) of any wrongdoing.

What would that mean? Would that constitute “being” bad rather than acting bad? Surely, when it comes to recognition of misbehavior or malevolent act there is a difference between knowing and not knowing. “They know what they did – they know that they did wrong.” Do they think themselves above or exempt from acknowledgment of wrongdoing they know? Is this just another flaw/weakness of character in addition to that already exhibited? Perhaps, they apologize to G-d and feel that suffice to address or right a wrong that is known.

I am so, so sad; I am so angry – I so hope my neighbor is wrong. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." What if they do? For if my neighbor is correct in her belief - if these people know they are wrong, do what they do, and leave it at that - do they really believe this too attains G-d’s forgiveness? If my neighbor is right, then they better hope “the word(s)” of G-D is/are meaningless because that would then be their only chance for salvation.

So I'm kind of hoping they don't know - they are just sick or sociopaths - then there is assuredly room for forgiveness, both for their acts then and now.