John Dies at the End

Plot:

“A new street drug that sends its users across time and dimensions has one drawback: some people return as no longer human. Can two college dropouts save humankind from this silent, otherworldly invasion?”

Cast:

Rob Mayes, Chase Williamson, Paul Giamatti, Clancy Brown, Fabianne Therese.

Thoughts:

               Before you watch this movie, I need you to remove your brain and understand that what you’re about to see is going to be completely insane (and John and Dave apologize for everything that’s going to happen). It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a movie this creative. And I do mean A. LONG. TIME. In a world chock full of predictable movies, I dare you to try and guess what happens next, because there are plenty of twists and unexpected surprises to keep you on your toes (and to keep you thinking, “Holy crap, what they’re saying makes sense”). This movie is hilarious, it’s horrifying, it’s mind-bending, it’s fun to watch:  it’s perfect.

               Honestly, I feel like if you haven’t read the book, you’ll probably enjoy the movie a whole lot more. So don’t let that little detail stop you from seeing the movie, okay? Don’t think too much. Just let it all soak in (and watch it two or three more times!) Watch the trailer, it’s a perfect way to get your mind ready for the bizarre story that is JDatE. The sole purpose of this movie is to entertain, to take you to another world, and it does just that. Escape (and serve Korrok!)

Now, this movie is way too weird to be mainstream so I’m not expecting everyone to love it because it’s definitely a cult film. But give it a shot. And hey, who knows, you might love it so much that you just HAVE to read the book (seriously, do that. Read the book. IT’S SO GOOD).

Thoughts if you’d read the book:

Alright, I stumbled upon this book and decided that it had the greatest name of all time so I decided to read it. From page one I had trouble putting it down. I had trouble NOT thinking about it. And I had trouble waiting for the movie to come out. As all readers are when they find out the book will be turned into a movie, I was very weary of the movie. I knew they had financial constraints so I tried really hard not to expect much.

What I got was (honestly) better than I was expecting. (Especially because they decided to use the absolute lamest cover for the DVD; seriously, look up the book’s cover and then look up the DVD cover) Now I had never heard of Chase Williamson or Rob Mayes but to me, they were perfect as Dave and John. Paul Giamatti, and all his twitchiness, was perfect for Arnie. The special effects were pretty good in my opinion. The only actual problem with the movie is how much they cut out of the book; which is normal, the book has 480 pages and the movie is only 1 hour and 39 minutes. When adapting a book to a movie, everyone knows there’s going to be changes. But, they seriously eliminated the entire middle of the book. John Dies at the End is basically just random parts of the book put together (they even change the order of things; AND they changed Molly’s name to Bark Lee and Robert North’s name to Roger. So random)

The movie starts off exactly like the book and then you kind of just have to pretend that you never read the book from there. Now, if you loved the book, I’m saying SEE THIS MOVIE. I’m not kidding. I fell in love with this movie right off the bat. If you don’t end up loving it, (well then I feel sorry for you; I’m just kidding) well then at least you got to see it. Reading these insane events take place and watching them are both an incredible experience. Don Coscarelli did a fantastic job of adapting the book.

Here are a few things not to look forward to:
(If you haven’t read the book, these are NOT spoilers. They just might not make any sense to you)

-Las Vegas is completely gone. Everything revolves around the Mall of the Dead now.

-THE MURAL IN BOB MARLEY’S TRAILER. (Honestly, this was the one thing I was really looking forward to. It was so complicated in the book that I knew it wasn’t going to be as good in the movie but they didn’t even try. There’s not even a basement in the Marley trailer)

-All that stuff with Amy is gone. She’s not even a main character until she randomly starts hanging on Dave’s arm towards the end. (And, honestly, they should’ve gotten someone better to play Amy. No offense to Fabianne but she couldn’t act so Amy just kind of looks like an idiot)

-NO DAVE IN THE SHED. That whole part of the book is gone which is really disappointing because they kept the whole “That’s the axe that slayed me” part, which is ridiculous because those two things go together. Now, I get it, audiences (definitely won’t) understand the Monster Dave aspect but SERIOUSLY, that’s the whole reason I said “WTF” when I finished reading the book.

EVERYONE, MAKE SURE YOU STAY FOR THE CREDITS. (So cool)

Warning:

               As you might’ve guessed after reading my review (or seeing the trailer), this movie is crazy. There’s a drug (called Soy Sauce), there are monsters, there’s bad language, there’s nudity, there are spiders (yuck). So please don’t allow your children to watch this movie. Wait until they’re older when their minds can handle it. If you’re one of those people who don’t like creative movies, stay away from this one. But if you think you can handle it, WATCH. THIS. MOVIE. RIGHT. NOW.